I always wrote about you though not like this
Paint the page with the blood that's inside my wrist

For months I believed that we had something special
While you didn't even feel it let alone get it

And do you actually think you'll find someone who cares more than me?
Whenever I close my eyes, she's still there just holding me

Everyone around us was shocked too
Cuz everyone saw the signs but not you

And it seems like nothing can fix my weeps
Nothing can help fix my missing piece
It's like I was destined to live this weak
Not much space on my back for knives so you gotta just stick it deep
Nowadays it's like the distance keeps
Me calm but makes it hard for me to get some sleep
Football player's the dream but I ain't fit to be
Can't fathom the day that I'll stand yelling
Victory

You were the light at the end of the tunnel when I couldn't get up outta the rubble
Now you're the reason I stumble

I never thought you'd be the reason behind my pain
I never thought you'd be why I'd cry or ache
I can't explain it no matter how hard I try to say
I live my darkest nights in your brightest days

I can't put in words the pain that I feel
So instead I just sit and I break and I scream

You used to say your comfort zone will kill you
Ironic, you were mine, man I guess it's still true
I used to only picture a future with you
And all the things we did and soon we will do

Laying down as tears drop on our pictures
As I read every message that I had sent ya
As I listen to the voice notes when ya
Kept laughing over something that I had fucking mentioned

I don't wanna fall, I don't wanna fall, no
I don't wanna cry, I don't wanna crawl, no
Right back to you

I never thought it would happen
But since when did I have a wish that life granted
With love comes pain and we know that that's standard
But god damn man do I wish that just this one thing lasted

You see it's funny I don't even blame you
Who would wanna deal with this shameful
Lame dude
Who can't help himself let alone save you
And even after all of this I still could never hate you

You don't know what pain is
Until you cry, praying to God to just take this
Pain and make it go away
I ain't afraid to stay awake
And feel every feeling 'till I fade away
Cuz ain't no safer place than my brain, I'm crazed
Cuz tho it sounds insane, I'd rather stay
In this state of pain
Than moving on to a safer place
It's like I was made for pain

Use the ache to chase the fame
And make it to the top in the greatest way
I wake and stay
Awake cuz when I dream, you are there to take
My heart and make it break, repeat the pain

See, I'd do whatever it takes to take us back
It's nothing personal but lemme lay the facts
Even though I was broken, I came and sat
With you to let you know you weren't to blame for that

Step onto the pitch and my worries fade away
For a while I forget, the night's a better place
But the fact remains in a hypothetical way
I would never play if you told me that today

We write to escape the fight in our minds
But I'd like to just stay and I'd like to rewind
Cuz even with the pain, I'd really just like
To once again feel sane when I look into her eyes like

I don't wanna fall, I don't wanna fall, no
I don't wanna cry, I don't wanna crawl, no
Right back to you