Original Broadway Cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Love is My Legs
FREDDY
I was alone and cold and damp
I tried to fly
But both my wings would cramp
'Til you came along and lit the lamp
To guide me to my exit ramp

Love is my legs and you are my love
So you are my legs, my love
Finally I understand
How hope is the hand
That squeezes a heart
And helps it to start once again

CHRISTINE
Now stand up and walk to me

FREDDY
I can't

CHRISTINE
YOU CAN!
Faith are the toes
Attached to your feet
So I'll be your feet completely
Always there to strive in your socks
Alive in your socks
No longer dejected
Two feet resurrected-
Connected to legs which is love-
FREDDY
Love is my legs!

CHRISTINE
Stand up. Come to me!
Love is your legs!

FREDDY
Oh my God, I'm standing! I'm standing!

FREDDY/CHRISTINE
Love is my/your legs

CHRISTINE
Now come to me, soldier

FREDDY
I'm still afraid

CHRISTINE
I know you can do it
Please try

FREDDY
I did it. I'm walking!
CHRISTINE
Do you wanna rest?

FREDDY
No, I want to keep going. My legs are
Full of love. Stand over there

CHRISTINE
Here?

FREDDY
Further

CHRSTINE
How far do you want to go?

FREDDY
All the way!
Love is my legs
And you are my love
So you are my
Feet-bones of love

CHRISTINE/CHOIR
The leg-bone's
Connected to ankle-bones
Connected to
Feet-bones of love
FREDDY/CHRISTINE
Help me scrape the
Rust from my heart
Blow the
Dust from my heart
Then help me adjust
To the trust
That you thrust
In my heart
With your legs full of-

CHRISTINE/CHOIR
-Love is your legs-

FREDDY
It was all in my head-

CHRISTINE/CHOIR
Love is your legs-

FREDDY
Now you get on that bed!

CHRISTINE/CHOIR
Love is your legs-

FREDDY
I'm coming!
Here I come!
Hope is your hand

CHRISTINE
Faith is your feet

FREDDY
Love is my legs

CHRISTINE
Love is your legs

FREDDY/CHRISTINE
Love is my/your legs