Nyan Cat:
Look up in the sky, not a bird, not a plane
It's just little old me, Nyan Cat's the name!
I'm a Pop Tart, don't get it twisted son
Been crushin' cosmic pussy since life number one!
I'm the first cat in space, won the cat Space Race
Here to cat bread you, have some wheat on your face!
Oh, your name is Tard? That's short for retarded!
Don't get mad, have some Skittles! I just sharted
Your face looks like a shitty cat version of Ron Swanson!
You'll be forgotten, like the pubes dangling off my johnson!
You're big in real life, but on YouTube I'm huge!
You can die tomorrow, I'll still get 80,000 views!

Grumpy Cat:
What doesn't kill you pisses me off
So I'm gonna be the one to fuckin' finish the job!
I eat, I sleep, I excrete, and lick my paws
You fly through space, that's it? You should be hauling around Santa Claus
I'll eat you for breakfast and turn you into a nice turd!
Have you seen Titanic? My favourite actor was the iceberg!
I'm a celebrity, I'm in Time Magazine
The biggest name in pets since, uhh, motherfucking Lassie
You're a try hard, I didn't even want fame
Kicking your ass?
It's in my DNA
Nyan Cat:
You're shorter than the pinky of Peter Dinklage!
Scratch that, more like Dinklage's peter, going through shrinkage!
You're still a virgin, my penis caused the Big Bang!
Roses are red, violets are blue
I have a gun, get in the van
What's wrong, Grumpy? Where's the other six dwarves?
Celebrating your absence with coffee-flavored liquors?
You're bout to get spade, and I've got a flush
You down the toilet, your wack raps make me blush!
I'll put you in a blender, I'll turn you to slush!
TBH, you're not the first pussy I've crushed!

Grumpy Cat:
Crush me with those rhymes?
You're batshit delirious
I had fun once, it was a traumatic experience
And maybe I am smaller than a midget's frigid noodle
But at least I'm not some wanna-be Toaster Strudel
You ain't shit, you ancient, you're 8 bit, Atari
Just quit, you won't get these eight tits, I'm sorry!
Cuz the only reason you got to be that tasty
Is your dad couldn't get pussy so he sexed a pastry