[Verse 1]
We're a company that's so successful that everywhere you go
You see a scratchy, hairy fastener and you say, "Hey, that's Velcro!"
But even though we invented this stuff, our patent lapsed 40 years ago
Now, no matter who else makes it – you still wanna call it "Velcro"

[Interlude]
You think it's awesome for us, we're famous
But we're lawyers and it's causin' us grief
'Cause there are trademark laws bein' broken
It's all here in this short legal brief

[Pre-Chorus 1]
And we know that this is confusing, because Velcro Brand is who we are
But if you call it "Velcro", we're gonna lose that circled "R"

[Chorus]
This is called "hook and loop", this part's a hook, this part's a loop
You call it "Velcro", but we're begging you
This is fucking "hook and loop"

[Verse 2]
We know that seems ridiculous, this is a first-world-situation
And we made half of a billion last year – I went to Turks on my last vacation
And we're asking you not to say a name we took 60+ years to build
But if you keep callin' these "Velcro Shoes", our trademark will get killed, yeah

[Bridge]
"We aren't just doin' this for us, we're doin' for all the successful brands that got so popular, people started using the brand names the wrong way. So please, remember..."
If you need somethin' to clean up your socks
Do it with bleach and not with *Clorox*
If you have blood from a boo-boo you made
This is a bandage and not a *Band-Aid*
If you're exercising with someone you're dating
It's inline-skating and not *rollerblading*

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I know that bleeped stuff is more fun to say
But if you keep doin' it, our trademarks go away

[Chorus]
This is called "hook and loop", this part's a hook, this part's a loop
You call it "Velcro", but we're begging you
This is fucking "hook and loop"