[Verse 1]

I got a long list of needs gotta satisfy 'em all
And the first on the list is a bag of Tylenol
Cause I'm stressed out thinking I don't have the time at all
To get my shopping done, let me start here, on the top at one

First, I need to check my e-mail
Oh shit, yahoo front page news, another celebrity female
That had a wedding recently, the marriage epicly failed
I need to click the link because I need to get the details

Soon as I click it I'm hit with a little ad
That reminds me of a need that I already had
It's an absolute must have need it really bad
Before I read the story I be rushing out of my pad

Now I'm in my car speeding cause I'm itching to find
A Mickey D's drive through so I can sit in the line
Gotta get in it in time, can't waste a minute of time
The McRib's only there for a limited time

And then I'm hit with a sign, that makes a switch in my mind
Reminding me of a need of a different kind
A brightly colored advertisement on a bus bench
Makes me head to Target to pick up tents
Cause tomorrow they're coming out with Call of Duty 84
And it's a necessity I camp out at the store
You never know they might never fucking make any more
I'm gonna rush to the front when they open the door
And trample over any people that fall down on the floor
This ain't a game, this is war
If you produce it I'll consume it if you shove it down my freaking throat
Everybody else got it, I don't wanna miss the boat

[Hook x2]
It's a lot of shit I really really need
And I need to get all of it at a really fast speed
I'm aware I'm a puppet of another man's greed
I don't care, I'm in love with all this shit I really need

[Verse 2]

My duffle bag is packed
With my phone, and my pod, my shuffle, pad, and mac
Got all of my i's dotted, if they made it I got it
And I'mma open my wallet for the next iProduct

Gotta try to give them all that I can bruh
Cause every phone that I own needs to have multiple cameras
And my last one only had one
How can I be seen from boths sides of the screen, I mean
If I don't desperately plead and request for my upgrade
I'll definitely bleed to death or die of AIDS
I need better resolution, more gigs!
Angry birds is old, I need war pigs!

I need to tell the landlord as far as what is concerned
I gave Apple every cent that I earned
So I'mma be late, now I need a Tecate
To deflate this stress caused by not letting my needs wait

[Hook]

"God damn man I just need to relax, watch some late night TV
Aw infomercials... Aw fuck I need all this shit too!"

[Verse 3]

I got a lot of insecurities, use 'em to attack me
I'm going bald, getting fat, plus I got acne
I'm looking like a combination of all the before pics
Please pretty please let me make you more rich

Cause I need to get over whatever it is that I'm sick from
List some symptoms, I bet I could pick one
Yeah I got the fifth one, out of 45
Stomach aches, surely I need that particular drug to take
The terrorists got me scared as shit
Time to buy a terror kit, with a mask for air in it
God bless my soul, I need to invest in gold
The economy as we know it is about to fucking fold

And we're all gonna die if I don't fucking buy
All the oil's running dry, asteroids from the sky
Who am I, where am I, what am I, I just need to fucking find
The nearest Wal-Mart that's got a gun to buy