Ay
Artificial antidote, put me down to sleep
And upon my waking up
I pray that I'm no longer me
Because it's getting kind of hard
Living inside the very skin
That I'm designing with the utmost care
To shelter scars within
Extroverted introvert
With shivers from my toes
Up to my head and out my mouth
Disguise anxiety in poems
My lungs are fucking tired
From the fighting with my sins
So I'll just feed them what they need
To open up and take me in
I let them win
I let the FOMO underpin
All the anger I empower when I'm lost inside my head
And lay my chin up on my pillow
Bleeding eyes from faded screens
Got my fingers running sprints
To print the body of my screams
And what it means to me
Is more than tired words
It's a calculated clearing of what one near has heard
It's an exodus of dopamine
A capture of a moment
Where emotion takes a hold
And tries to salvage what is broken
There's a hopelessness inside of every creature that is certain
Drives our every move to beat a part of us that's hurting
An emptiness that somehow weighs too much for us to bear
So we tell ourselves, it's better burning matter into air
But I don't want to leave
I just want to stop feeling so sick
Every time I see the sunlight
Like an existential trick
So I been dumping what I got inside 280, fave, retweet
Shut the blinds, flip my shit to airplane mode
Go back to sleep