[Verse 1]
I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah, fucked in the head
我刚生下来脑袋里就长了根屌，脑子天生操蛋
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed
我继父说我在床上差劲得很
'Til one night he snuck in and said
直到有天晚上他偷偷溜进来
"We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed"
“我们出去，我想让你在外面棚子里给我口”
Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead?
我们就玩玩玩具熊不行吗？
"After I fuck you in the butt, get some head
“操完你屁股，揍过你脑袋
Bust a nut, get some rest," the next day my mother said
我再休息好以后就行”，第二天我妈说
"I don't know what the fuck's up with this kid
“我搞不懂这孩子他妈的怎么回事
The bastard won't even eat nothing he's fed
兔崽子喂什么他都不吃
He just hung himself in the bedroom, he's dead"
就在他卧室里上吊，估计是死了”
"Debbie, don't let that fucker get you upset
“Debbie，别让那崽子惹你生气
Go in there, stick a fuckin' cigarette to his neck
过去，把香烟摁他脖子上
I'll bet you he's fakin' it, I'll bet you, I bet
跟你打赌他肯定是装的，我敢打赌，肯定是
He probably just wants to see how upset you would get
他估计就想看看你能生气成什么样
I'll go handle this, of course unless you object"
交给我吧，除非你想自己动手”
"Aw, go fuck his brains out if any's left in his head"
“噢，去把他脑子都操出来吧，如果他还有脑子的话”
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
你要是数数我衣柜里的骷髅（skeletons in closet=家丑）
Under my bed and up under my faucet
还有床下和水槽底下的
Then you would know I've completely lost it
那你就会知道我已经疯透顶了
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
他有病吗？不，他是疯了
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
你要是数数我衣柜里的骷髅（skeletons in closet=家丑）
Under my bed and up under my faucet
还有床下和水槽底下的
Then you would know I've completely lost it
那你就会知道我已经疯透顶了
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
他有病吗？不，他是疯了

[Verse 2]
"Did you get him?" Naw, fucker tried to bite my face off
“你搞定他了吗？”没，那操蛋的差点没把我脸咬下来
I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw
我只能拿电锯去追
Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off
但他把电锯抢走了，把刀片都给啃下来了
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
吃掉了刀片，把网球绑在弹弓上
Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
然后对准他自己的脸，松掉了弹弓
Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
他眼珠子都掉下来了，捡起来就当乒乓球打
Then he played ping pong with his own ding-dong
就用他自己的屌打乒乓球啊
That motherfucker's got nuts like King Kong
那狗娘养的疯得就像金刚
Then he set the lawnmower out on the dang lawn
后来他又把割草机拖到草坪上
And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
也不管地上有什么都一路碾过去
Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin' thing off
然后他脱了裤子，别的也都他妈脱了
Everything except his tank top and his training bra
就剩下背心和运动文胸
Ain't he raw? Yeah, maniac, that's Shady, dawg
他是不是很生猛？对啊，疯子，那就是Shady，伙计
Man that motherfucker's gangsta, ain't he dawg?
那可真他妈够匪帮的，是不是啊伙计？
Shady, dawg, what be goin' through that fuckin' brain of yours?
Shady，老兄啊，你脑子到底他妈的怎么回事？
Say no more, what the fuck you waitin' for? Sing along
啥也别说了，你他妈还等什么呀，一起唱
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
你要是数数我衣柜里的骷髅（skeletons in closet=家丑）
Under my bed and up under my faucet
还有床下和水槽底下的
Then you would know I've completely lost it
那你就会知道我已经疯透顶了
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
他有病吗？不，他是疯了
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
你要是数数我衣柜里的骷髅（skeletons in closet=家丑）
Under my bed and up under my faucet
还有床下和水槽底下的
Then you would know I've completely lost it
那你就会知道我已经疯透顶了
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
他有病吗？不，他是疯了

[Verse 3]
Don't you know what felch means? ("Yeah") Well then, tell me
你不明白吸精是什么意思吗？（“明白”）那好，告诉我
Would you rather get felched or do the felching?
你是想被吸还是想吸？
Fuck 'em in the ass, suck the cum out while you're belching
把精液操进屁股，然后在你打嗝的时候再吸出来
Burp, belch, and go back for a second helping
嗝，嗝，然后再来第二轮
Can you dig what I'm saying, man? Can you smell me?
你能挖到我说的那样吗？你闻到我了没？
I want you to feel me like my stepfather felt me (Oh...)
我想让你像我感受我继父那样感受我
Fuck a little puppy, kick the puppy while he's yelping
操小狗，他要是乱叫就踢他
"Shady, what the fuck you saying?" I don't know, help me!
“Shady，你他妈在说什么呀？”我也不知道，救救我吧！
What the fuck's happening? I think I'm fuckin' melting
这他妈怎么回事啊？我感觉自己要融化了
"Marshall, I just love you, boy, I care about your well-being"
“Marshall，我爱你呀孩子，我很关心你的健康”
No, Dad, I said no — I don't need no help peeing
不，爸爸，我说了不——我不用你把尿
I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself, see?
我已经是大孩子了，自己就能撒尿
I only get naked when the babysitter tells me
保姆让我脱衣服我才会脱光光
She showed me a movie like Nightmare on Elm Street
她给我看过一部《猛鬼街》那样的电影
But it was X and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea"
但那部电影是成人级的，他们管它叫《Chelsea的阴毛》
"Well, this is called 'Ass Rape' and we're shooting the jail scene"
”那电影叫《鸡奸》，我们现在就在拍监狱里的那段场景“
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
你要是数数我衣柜里的骷髅（skeletons in closet=家丑）
Under my bed and up under my faucet
还有床下和水槽底下的
Then you would know I've completely lost it
那你就会知道我已经疯透顶了
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
他有病吗？不，他是疯了
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
你要是数数我衣柜里的骷髅（skeletons in closet=家丑）
Under my bed and up under my faucet
还有床下和水槽底下的
Then you would know I've completely lost it
那你就会知道我已经疯透顶了
Is he nuts? No, he's insane
他有病吗？不，他是疯了