Jonathan Coulton
Good Morning Tucson
It's still so dark because it's
Still so early and the
Chipper little girlie at the front desk doesn't mind at all
These phony living rooms and
Fake plants are killing me
This bad coffee's filling me with equal parts joy and rage

Put my makeup on and crack in half
I choke back a laugh
Find the camera with the red light

[Chorus]
Good Morning Tucson!
The lights come on and so I smile wide and say
Good Morning Tucson!
I throw to you before I throw the rest away

When I was coming up I
Got the donuts which means
I got the donuts that I wanted
There was no young punk
To steal my jelly glazed
And I am still sort of amazed that you can be born in the nineties

When I don't like what they talk about
I take the earpiece out
But they just cue me through the window
[Chorus]

While they do the weather I pretend I'm writing something
But I'm really far away
Really far away
I keep my smile warm in case they turn the camera on
Cause now I have something to say
I have something to say

The camera's melting but I
Just keep going, it's been a
Pleasure knowing you I wish you all the best of luck
When the prompter dies I'm
Comfortable winging it I'm
Practically singing it, the song that tears the world apart

Through the smoke beyond my parking space
I see my giant face
On the billboard by the highway

[Chorus]