[CASTLEMAN]
Some people are scared of goblins and ghosts
They shriek at a raven perched on a post
"Oh no!" they cry. "It's a spooky black cat!"
But there are so many things far more frightening than that

Like when I asked a woman I hadn't seen in a while
How long she'd been pregnant, and there went her smile
Turns out she'd just gained weight. "I'm so sorry," I said
And when that memory fills me with horror and dread

I do the cringe! Ugggh!
I do the cringe! Ooooh!

[HEATHER, PAULA, AND VALENCIA]
More than a twinge

[CASTLEMAN]
The thought leaves me aghast
Because nothing is as scary as what lurks in your past

[VALENCIA]
Banshees and ghouls can give a good fright

[PAULA]
But that's not what keeps me up at night
[HEATHER]
I think about that time in bed with my ex
When I chuckled at his penis during sex

[CASTLEMAN, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA]
She does the cringe

[HEATHER]
It was a full-blown laugh

[CASTLEMAN, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA]
She does the cringe

[HEATHER]
It looked like a cute little puppet

[CASTLEMAN, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA]
She does the cringe

[HEATHER]
He went soft and cried

[MR. TRAPANI]
And that was the night their relationship died!

[GARY]
I told a date I lost my wallet so she would pay
[SUSAN]
I hooked up with the bassist of Sugar Ray

[CHRISTOPHER]
I got an angel tattoo on my upper thigh

[TARA]
I gave my mother's eulogy completely high

[DEVON]
See, everyone has sins they want to wash away

[BENJAMIN]
I came up with the town motto: "Live. Work. Play."

[ALL]
We do the cringe

[BENJAMIN]
It was not my best work

[ALL]
We do the cringe

[BENJAMIN]
In fairness, I was also high
[ALL]
We do the cringe

[CASTLEMAN]
Regret can be a blast
But nothing is as funky as what lurks in your past
Cringe dance!

(dance break)

[ALL]
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Aaaaah!

[REBECCA]
We all have skeletons

[CASTLEMAN]
Real and metaphorically

[CHRISTOPHER]
Wait, aren't you the guy who murdered me?

[REBECCA]
What?

[CASTLEMAN]
Nothing! The cringe!

[ALL]
Cringe!