[Intro]
*Sips drink*
*Ah*
Why am I getting chased?
Uh, you're guess is as good as mine
I couldn't have done anything wrong, I'm a good boy
What did I even do this week?

[Verse 1]
Jaywalked down the street one time
I found a movie for free online
I left a store and forgot to pay
I burned my grill and I walked away
Hit some kids at a lemonade stand
Then I did a cool tag with a spray can
Punched a guy and I kicked his kid
Took a pee and I made a shit, in public

[Verse 2]
Went to a bar and I had a good time
I re-arranged the Dairy Queen sign
I climbed a school and I fell down
I punched a carny, I'm scared of clowns
I stole candy from a baby
Then I entered a door before a lady
Made 20 bucks and I didn't pay tax
Told my girlfriend to relax
Practiced witchcraft, made a brew
But it's not 1692
I set up a table for a ball and a cup
But it was rigged, so everybody pay up
I set afire to a peg-legged man
And apparently, that's illegal
I wrote a poem that didn't rhyme
Why have I caused so much...mischief?