[INTRO: Spoken]
All right, dust off a pimp when you see him
Now I don't like talking before songs, really...
But I'm gonna tell you
This is a new approach to positivity
A new approach to dealing with your problems
You see one of them problems
You got money problems
You got weight problems
You better tell that bitch to get out on the corner and get your mother fucking money
We pimp slappin' our fucking stress today, baby
(Yo)(Uh)
[Verse 1]
Today you feel stressed
Today you hate your friends
Your wallet's hurtin', the entire world is cavin' in
You need to lose a couple pounds
You need to get in shape
You can't sleep but you're tired of making big mistakes
Your roommate's always being such a little selfish queen. They're always messy and obnoxious, they don't help you clean
Your sick to your stomach to get back your girl
[BRIDGE VARIATION 1]
Well, I'm Uncle Mac and I'mma help you pimp slap the world!
(Uh)
You got some big expectations, don't wanna live those doown
It's not a carnival but trust that merry still goes 'round
I give a FUCK that it's raining, just roll your windows down
And let yourself get soaked, blowing out the weeed smoke
[SUPPLEMENTAL 1]
I love it, I'm here to heal the public
You got a case of the Mondays
I got a case of the Fuck-its
So tell me if you need a couple OXYs or a ZANY
And I'mma drop you off with your family. DAMN ME
[Chorus]
This world is such a bitch
This world is such a silly bitch
Sometimes you need to retract
And straight up slap it like a pimp
Slap it like a pimp
Slap it like a money getting, cane pushing, pimp
Then you say 'I don't give a fuck! I ain't feeling stressed today!'
'I don't give a fuck. Everything is just OK.'
'I don't give a fuck! I ain't feeling stressed today!'
'I don't give a fuck. I'm a mother fucking pimp.'
[VERSE 2]
Today you feel sick
Today you're tense and anxious
The bill collectors calling you speaking in different language
You're getting sick of anguish
You're sick of drunk people
On Friday night you're home alone just saying 'FUCK PEOPLE!'
Your father always judges you inside, you hate him for it
You held the door for somebody that didn't thank you for it
Your man left for a rich bratty girl
[BRIDGE VARIATION 2]
Well, I'm Uncle Mac and I'mma help you pimp slap the world
You got some big expectations, don't wanna live those down
It's not a carnival but trust that merry still goes 'round
I give a FUCK that it's raining, just roll your windows down
And let yourself get soaked, blowing out the weeed smoke
[SUPPLEMENTAL 2]
I'm on it, this cosmic spread
I'm Drinking 90 minute IPA by Dogfish Head
So down a bottle with me, homie, DAMN, sit back
And hit your problems with a open hand pimp slap!
(Brrrrappp!)
[Chorus]
This world is such a bitch
This world is such a silly bitch
Sometimes you need to retract
And straight up slap it like a pimp
Slap it like a pimp
Slap it like a money getting, cane pushing, pimp
Then you say 'I don't give a fuck! I ain't feeling stressed today!'
'I don't give a fuck. Everything is just OK.'
'I don't give a fuck! I ain't feeling stressed today!'
'I don't give a fuck. I'm a mother fucking pimp.'
[VERSE 3]
You're feeling stressed about your whack cash flow
Well, put your diamond rings on and smack that, hoe
Illegal parking job, your car got toed
Well, put your diamond rings on and smack that, hoe
Shiny alligator shoes, thousand dollar Gucci suit
Feather in your hat, you slammin' Cadillac dooors
Every problem in your life's a dirty fucking hooker
Take two steps back and pimp slap dat, hoe!
(Uh)
[BRIDGE VARIATION 3]
You got some big expectations, don't wanna live those doown
It's not a carnival but trust that merry still goes 'round
I give a FUCK that it's raining, just roll your windows doown
And let yourself get soaked, and fucking wet
[SUPPLEMENTAL 3]
I need it. I've always fucking needed it
Sometimes the best solution is a drink or getting weededed
But other times you gotta take your problems and just choke them
Swell their eye and leave their nose broken
Like a pimp!
(END)