Andy Milonakis
Hot to the Touch (Script)
TITLE SEQUENCE

CUT TO: INT. TREEHOUSE, NIGHT

Outside the treehouse, it’s raining. Inside, the episode picks off where the last episode ended as Flame Princess angrily confronts Finn. She slaps him, leaving a burn mark on his face.

FLAME PRINCESS: Don't ever mess with me again!

She turns into fire and flies out the window.

FINN: Who was that?

JAKE: The Princess of the Fire Kingdom.

FINN: Dude, I think I have a crush. What do you know about her, Jake?

JAKE: I was trying to help you get over your Princess Bubblegum sad times by hooking you two up. But she's evil, man!

FINN: You shut your dirty mouth!

He lightly slaps Jake.

JAKE: Dirty?

He checks his gums.
JAKE: Oh. No, really man! Her dad said she was evil!

FINN: Naw, man, I peeped beyond her burning gaze, and noshed hot lunch with her soul. She ain't evil.

He walks to the broken burning window and gazes off into the distance.

FINN: She's passionate. Help me track her down.

JAKE: Hmm...

FINN: C'mon, man, I really like her. Help me out.

He rubs Jake’s face as he speaks.

FINN: Jake, Jake help me out. Help me out. Jake, Jake, help me. Jake, Jake, help me!

JAKE: Eh… Okay.

FINN: Whoo! Alright!

CUT TO: EXT. FOREST, NIGHT

Cut to the duo traipsing through a forest. Jake has stretched to giant size.

JAKE: You sure you're not into any other princesses? What about Wildberry Princess? She's small and plump. You could sleep on her like a pillow. Could be nice.
Offscreen fire illuminates Finn and Jake. A bird flies out of a forest clearing on fire.

FINN: Is that bird... smoking?

BIRD: Hey, don't you judge me. It was that fire chick down there that done this to me.

Jake shrinks down into some bushes. He and Finn hide and see Flame Princess kneeling down near a pond and some flowers. She tries to touch a flower but sets it on fire.

FLAME PRINCESS: Oh.

The fire spreads across all of the flowers until it reaches the pond, where it produces steam. Flame Princess gasps when the fire reaches the water..

FINN: Oh, Jake. Look at her. She's innocent. Like the steam off a puppy's nose, searching for ham in the snow.

JAKE: Guy drops one piece of ham in the snow and he never hears the end of it! Snap out of it. She's burning cute little flowers!

FINN: Yeah, she is like a cute little flower.

Flame Princess walks towards the pond and dips her hand in. Steam comes out and she recoils in pain.

FLAME PRINCESS: Ah!

Finn comes running out of the bushes.

FINN: Oh, no! are you ok?
She gasps.

FINN: I... I was just worried about you.

FLAME PRINCESS: Huh?

FINN: Look, I'm sorry about before. I don't know what happened, but I just, I had to see you again. And, I don't know, really... I don't know anything about you, but I just, I really like you. You know, you’re, you're so... beautiful.

Flame Princess glows brightly. The fire around her expands, burning Finn’s feet.

FINN: Whoa!

Finn tries stomping the fire out, but stops when he sees Flame Princess reacting with pain.

FLAME PRINCESS: Ah!

Finn stomps on fire again

FLAME PRINCESS: Ow!

FINN: Oh, Glob. Am I hurting you?

FLAME PRINCESS: Yes! That's all you've done! Are you trying to hurt me? Is that why you're following me?

FINN: I'm not followi... Well, I guess technically I am following you.

Flame Princess gasps and runs away.

FINN: Hey, no wait!


Finn pursues her. He laughs awkwardly as he runs.

FINN: I guess now I'm technically chasing you.

Jake comes out of some bushes.

JAKE: Finn!

Flame Princess burns down a tree. The tree falls down, blocking the path behind her.

JAKE: Hold on!

Jake grabs Finn and grows to giant size. He puts out the fire on the tree with his butt.

JAKE: Ow! Toasty buns.

They continue and exit the forest. Jake shrinks back to normal size. The Goblin Kingdom can be seen in the distance.

FINN: Where are you? I want to chat it up with you! Oh, we lost her.

Flame Princess is seen watching them from the tree line. She emerges ahead of them.

FINN: Whoa.

FLAME PRINCESS: I am ambushing you!

She begins throwing fireballs at them. They both scream and run around her to dodge the attack.

FINN: Hey, I like your fireballs.

FLAME PRINCESS: Huh? Why do you torment me?

FINN: I'm not trying to! I just like you. I think I... I think I like-like you. Listen, when I look at you, my brain goes all stupid. And I just wanna hug you, and sit on the couch and, and play BMO with you. I can't explain why, but, I’ve never felt this way and I think we should be together.

FLAME PRINCESS: I...

She smiles and blushes. She begins to glow brightly as her fire becomes more powerful. Finn smiles and claps excitedly. Suddenly, Flame Princess turns, her smile vanishing.

FLAME PRINCESS: Enough. You should not toy with the emotions of a fire elemental.

FINN: Wait, wait, I really didn't-

FLAME PRINCESS: You told me you liked me, and you made my flame grow brighter, but then you put me out, which hurt!

She throws another fireball at Finn and Jake, who leap out of the way.

FLAME PRINCESS: You're trying to impede me. That must be your purpose, but fire's purpose is to burn, so I'm going to turn this land into my fire kingdom!

FINN: No!

Flame Princess creates a massive wall of fire. Finn and Jake back away and watch as she flies off towards the Goblin Kingdom.

JAKE: She's headed for Goblin Kingdom! We need to defeat this fiery she-beast!

FINN: I can't fight her, man. I'm still into her!

JAKE: Finn, what's more important? Your love for that screwball dame, or being a hero and saving the lives of innocent goblin folks?

FINN: Ugh... Being a hero.

JAKE: Alright, c'mon! Let's go build fire-proof suits.

They run away.

CUT TO: EXT. TREE HOUSE, NIGHT

Finn and Jake search the backyard of their tree house for equipment. Finn frantically throws things from their piles of stuff.

FINN: I gotta' get back to her.

JAKE: Dude, slow down or your fire suit will be junk.

Jake spots a bag of moldy bread.

JAKE: Ooh. Is bags of old bread fire-proof?

Jake picks up the bag of bread, revealing Neptr.

NEPTR: Jake, you've found Neptr!

Neptr gets out from the pile.

NEPTR: I am the ultimate hide-and-seek champion! 15 months, 4 days, 9 hours and you guys did not find me!

Neptr spins around and laughs. Jake whispers to Finn.

JAKE: Oh, plops, we forgot about the game!

Finn shushes him.

NEPTR: I missed you, creator.

FINN: And we missed you, too, but Neptr, right now we need you to-

NEPTR: To count to 100 while you hide? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5-

Finn stops Neptr.

FINN: Neptr, will you help us build fire-proof suits?

Neptr smiles and slightly raises his arm.

NEPTR: You cannot tell but I am giving a thumbs up.

Cut to a montage of Neptr helping Finn and Jake prepare fire-proof suits. As they work, Neptr raps.

NEPTR: Working for the master, preventing a disaster
Building giant robots from aluminum and plaster
Faster, a cast to build the blaster
Yes, for foam and water
Yes, for when it's hotter
I got it, it's no bother, 'cause I live to please you, father

The montage finishes.

NEPTR: I am finished!

CUT TO: EXT. SKY, NIGHT

Finn flies through the air in his massive fire-proof suit. The head of Finn’s suit is Neptr.

FINN: I sure hope Flame Princess is okay.

NEPTR: Haha, we are as one, creator.

FINN: Jake, you think Flame Princess is okay?

Jake enters the frame in his own fire-proof suit.

JAKE: Dude! I feel like I could touch the heavens! And sock angels!

FINN: We're coming up on the Goblin Kingdom.

They follow Flame Princess’s trail of fire to the Goblin Kingdom.

FINN: There she is.

In the streets of the city below, Finn sees Flame Princess burning down buildings as goblins run in fear.

FINN: She seems okay.

A goblin in the city screams with a pile of burning wood on his back.

WOOD GOBLIN: Ah! Wood for sale! Wood on fire for sale!

He runs past Flame Princess. She continues burning the city.

FLAME PRINCESS: It's really starting to come together. Needs more... fire! Hmm.

FINN: Flame Princess!

Flame Princess turns around. Finn, Jake, and Neptr arrive.

FINN: Listen, you gotta stop burning the Goblin Kingdom, but I don't wanna fight you, or hurt you, I swear.

FLAME PRINCESS: I've heard this all before.

She shoots a series of fireballs at him. The fireballs are unable to damage the fire-proof suits. Flame Princess looks disgruntled as the trio touches down.

FLAME PRINCESS: You meanie!

She throws another fireball at Finn, which ricochets towards a nearby cart and some goblins.

CART GOBLIN: My cart, I was born in that cart!

Jake gasps.

JAKE: I'll put it out!

He leaps over and crushes the cart, putting out the fire.

FLAME PRINCESS: Ah!

She collapses in pain.

FINN: Ah! Jake didn't mean that.

She shoots a stream of fire at a nearby building. Jake flies over to it.

JAKE: I need your help Finn! This one's too big!

He kicks the fire. Flame Princess yelps in pain.

FLAME PRINCESS: Why?

FINN: No, Jake, stop. You're hurting her!

NEPTR: I will solve this, creator. I will extinguish her using our suit. Foam blaster!

Neptr raises the suit’s right arm and turns it into a foam blaster.

NEPTR: Hold still, burning lady.

Neptr turns the suit around and aims the blaster at Flame Princess.

FINN: Wha...?

NEPTR: Locked on target.

Finn tries to prevent Neptr from shooting at her.

FINN: No, Neptr!

NEPTR: Yes, creator.

Finn turns the suit around as foam begins shooting from the arm.

FINN: No!

The foam sprays over the fire Jake is fighting. Flame Princess cries out in pain.

FINN: I'm sorry!

He lowers the blaster, accidentally hitting Jake with foam and sending him flying into a nearby pole. He becomes engulfed in foam.

FLAME PRINCESS: That is the last time you hurt me.

She grows into her giant elemental form.

FINN: My bad, Jake. Turn it off, Neptr!

Finn turns and gasps as he sees Flame Princess.

NEPTR: Oh, my.

The foam blaster runs out of foam as Flame Princess reaches her maximum size. She turns around and burns the whole city at once.

FINN: No!

FLAME PRINCESS: Rah!

She cries a single fiery tear.

FINN: No more... No more!

He kneels and rips open his suit to climb out, crawling on top of the suit.

FINN: Flame Princess!

Flame Princess walks away. Finn surveys the burning city.

FINN: I can't fight her, but I can't let her destroy the city. I've failed everyone.

NEPTR: Not true, creator. You haven't failed Neptr. Even if everyone burns, you'll still have me, creator.

Finn turns to Jake, whose suit is mostly in disrepair. He scoops up and eats some of the foam.

FINN: No. Why can't I just like a girl?

Finn begins crying. A tear falls from his face and hits the fire below.

FLAME PRINCESS: Ow!

She turns angrily.

FLAME PRINCESS: Huh?

She returns to normal size and flies towards Finn. He sobs and falls over, knocked out. Flame Princess curiously touches the tears on his face and recoils.

FLAME PRINCESS: Oh.

Flame Princess kneels and puts out all of the fire in the city. Finn coughs and wakes back up to see Flame Princess by his side and the city extinguished.

FINN: Did I... do something cool while I was knocked out?

FLAME PRINCESS: I understand now. You're a water elemental.

FINN: What?

FLAME PRINCESS: You're my opposite. You create water.

FINN: What, cry? No, I just-

FLAME PRINCESS: Yeah, you cry and cry all the time.

FINN: No, no, I, I don't usually do that.

FLAME PRINCESS: That's your power.

FINN: No. No, no, no, no, no, no!

He waves his hands and blushes.

FLAME PRINCESS: Finn, even if we like each other, we're going to hurt each other.

FINN: No, we don't have to. I can take it. I... I mean, can't we try?

FLAME PRINCESS: You would defy nature for me?

FINN: Uh... yeah, whatevs.

Finn and Flame Princess try to hug, but the heat is too much for him to bear, and he tears up. They both pull away.

FLAME PRINCESS: Bye, Finn.

She leaves.

NEPTR: Goodbye, lady.

They watch her as she runs off into the distance. Jake stretches up to them.

JAKE: Finn! Oh my Glob, man, everyone's dead, man! They're all burned! There's barbecued bods everywhere!

FINN: What?!

JAKE: Hah. I'm just kidding. I saved 'em. Everyone's fine, see?

Jake gestures towards a crowd of goblins nearby.

JAKE: So. How'd everything go with Flame Princess?

FINN: She hugged me, then left.

JAKE: Whoa! How did it feel?

FINN: It hurt.

The screen cuts to black.

END CREDITS