[Intro: Puff Puff]
Ha, ha, ha, ha!

[Verse 1: Puff Puff]
It's been a while since you felt my felt
But this relationship's the biggest piece of shit I've ever smelt
Always got me stressin', always keeping me guessin'
I'm like a Snuffleupagus, a fucking manic depressive
And if I ask you a question, would you answer at last?
Girl, I'm not your puppet so why's your hand up my ass?
'Cause I can find a better girlfriend, a better boo
This breakup's brought to you by the letter F and the letter U (wooh!)
This is exactly what I'd said I'd do
My bones are made of styrofoam, but you can't find a better dude
Why'd you leave me? Was it something I did?
I feel like Kermit the Frog, 'cause I was fuckin' a pig
And I'll gonna take back my money spent, every nickel
So stick your hands down my pants and give Elmo a tickle (ha ha)
'Cause I ain't puttin' up with your shit, man, fuck it
So get your hand out of my ass, bitch, 'cause I ain't your puppet

[Hook: Puff Puff]
Girl, I'm not your puppet
Girl, I'm not your puppet, puppet, puppet
Girl, I'm not your puppet (hey!)
Girl, I'm not your puppet, puppet, puppet
Girl, I'm not your puppet (ho!)
Girl, I'm not your puppet, puppet, puppet
Girl, I'm not your puppet (hey!)
Girl, I'm not your puppet, puppet, puppet
[Verse 2: Puff Puff]
I'm sorry, I believe you mistook me
For a codependent Cookie Monster feeding you cookies
I'm moving on (ha-ha!), it ain't a question to me
I'll fuck all the other Muppets on Sesame Street
I'll fuck that redhead from Lamb Chop with the 'fro
Upload the video, so you can watch it and know
That you're not a unique snowflake, you're just another chick
And you ain't Jeff Dunham, but you can jump on my stick
I ain't bitter, but it'd be a waste
If you didn't ask your new boyfriend how my felt tastes
Will I get over it? Probably, but
First, I think I'll fuck your fat friend Jabba the Slut
And it's sad, 'cause I was kinda thinkin' it might last
'Cause I'm like Oscar the Grouch, and you're sorta white trash
Now I don't give a fuck if you move to Nantucket
But get your hand out my ass, I ain't your puppet!

[Hook]

[Breakdown: Deejay]
Break it down LambChop Style!

[Bridge: Puff Puff] x2
This is a relationship that needs to end
Oh yeah, you and I will never be friends
One day we started fuckin' around not knowing what it was
And we'll never get back together again, because you suck
[Hook]

[Outro: Count Dracula]
One, yes
One, two timing bitch!
Ah, ah, ah