Veterinary surgeon, horse doctor come quick
Cuz the old bitch whelped and the puppies took sick
Bring your little black bag with the medicines in
Bring the tranq and the crank and the penicillicin
Well I know you been busy pullin’ all them calves
But you got somethin’ that the other vets don’t have

Veterinary surgeon, horse doctor come quick
Whatever you got's really doin' the trick
Bring your little black bag with the medicines in
Bring the tranq and the crank and the penicillicin
Bring some for my sow, bring some for my ewe
For my jill, for my cow, bring some for me too

Veterinary surgeon, horse doctor come quick
A dip and a drench, a mineral lick
Bring your little black bag with the medicines in
Bring the juice and the bute and the buprenorphin'
Of any other cure I like your remedy most
And what you keep in your mind when you measure the dose

Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you
I ain't never been taught, I ain't never been schooled
I never spent 5 long years down east
Learning everything about the bird and the beast
I'm just a layman, I'm not like you
I can't diagnose nothin', ain't got no clue
Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you
Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you
Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you
But whatever she got, I caught the same thing too
Yeah, whatever she caught, I caught the same thing too

Veterinary surgeon, horse doctor come quick
Draw the syringe and give it a flick
Bring your little black bag with the medicines in
Bring the tranq and the crank and the penicillicin
Well I'm just a layman, I'm not like you
But I can read on the bottle, I can read on the tube
Yeah, I can read on the bottle, I can read on the tube
"For human use this has not been approved"