Marc Shaiman
Cooties
They came from way far out in outer space
She's hardly missing so they landed on her face

She's got cooties, cooties
They've found a place to nest
She's got cooties, cooties
If I were her I'd be depressed
Long-tailed, sharp-nailed, fuzzy legs, laying eggs
Oh no, get 'em!

In science class she's like a walking show-and-tell
Her pet skunk ran away 'cause it couldn't take the smell

She's got cooties, cooties
Nobody wants to sit by her
She's got cooties, cooties
She don't need a coat 'cause she's got fur
Circle, circle, dot, dot, dot
Glad I got my cootie shot
Come on boys, let's stamp 'em out

Cooties, cooties
Come on boys
Cooties, cooties
Cooties, cooties
Come on boys

Oh, no, no
She's got cooties
She's just as friendly as can be
She's got cooties
She shows them cootie hospitality
She's got cooties
She's like a living twilight zone
She's got cooties
Uh, can you get Rod Sterling on the phone?

Black, white, red, green, every color in between
Dresses like a circus clown, somebody oughta hose her down
Grew up in a cootie zoo, I bet her two-ton mama's got 'em too
She's coming!

Somebody oughta hose her down, oh yeah
Somebody oughta hose her down, yeah, yeah

She's got cooties
She's just as friendly as can be
She's got cooties
She'll shows them cootie hospitality
She's got cooties
This girl will surely catch your eye
She's got cooties
She surely like to let her freak flag fly

Come on boys, let's dance, let's stamp 'em out
Come on boys, let's dance, let's stamp 'em out
Come on boys, let's dance, let's stamp 'em out
Come on boys, let's dance, let's stamp 'em out

Black, white, red, green, every color in between
Dresses like a circus clown, somebody oughta hose her down
Grew up in a cootie zoo
I bet her two-ton mama's got 'em too