[Intro: Bas]
What's with the 50p charge when I pay card?
Came for the bag of pork scratchings and I came hard
Soon as I put the gloves on I'mma get loud
I'mma get loud, I'mma get

[Verse 1: Pete]
Look right, we ain't here for a laugh
This is serious (serious), you must think I'm daft
The wife cooked my favourite, and I'm in front of the plate
And if you do my nut in, well son, it's gonna end up in your face

[Verse 2: Bas]
I've had more scraps than you've had hot dinners
Look at you, useless
Looking all clueless, Jesus
You need a lesson in being a man
Tuck in your shirt and then pull up your pants
Listen again if you misunderstand

[Verse 3: Pete]
What's that? I don't want to hear another peep
Tied more hands than the bobbies on the beat
Laurenies on my feet, pull up in the Merc with my bird in the street
Hello, yeeeah
[Hook: Pete and Bas]
I've had enough of these mugs
Rolling them up in a rug
Come round the back of the car
Should have listened when I told ya
Do one, do one, do one, do one, do one, you can go do one
Too many dings on the line, backed off the bing and I just got a new one
Do one, do one, do one, do one, do one, you can go do one
Too many dings on the line, backed off the bing and I just got a new one

[Verse 4: Bas and Pete]
English on the back seat, (shut it) yeah exactly
Had a bird try and slap me, two ton pack straight from the factory
Black leather gloves, Batman
Dentist, take out teeth with a backhand
Still dodging the taxman
Down on the beach in a kaftan

[Verse 5: Pete]
Look who just walked through the door, son
I've been here before, son
Same old situation
I've got a tenner in the sock and it's going on the horses
Rigor mortis
Stiff competition, I'm wishing I were fishing with my grandaughter
When I throw stones it's over, when I throw stones it's over
[Verse 6: Bas]
Don't throw stones if you ain't got an hard head
Look son I'm already half dead
Look son I'm eating a naan bread
Nah son, no gravestones in the flower bed
I've had enough malarkey, I've got a mate and he knows karate
He's got a mate and he's in the army
Walk through the door close down the party

[Verse 7: Pete]
Fist smash on the fruit machine
I'm in the back of the pub with the snooker team, yeah
And the boots are clean
Pint and the pie with the mash and I'm gravy, yeeeah

[Hook: Pete and Bas]
I've had enough of these mugs
Rolling them up in a rug
Come round the back of the car
Should have listened when I told ya
Do one, do one, do one, do one, do one, you can go do one
Too many dings on the line, backed off the bing and I just got a new one
Do one, do one, do one, do one, do one, you can go do one
Too many dings on the line, backed off the bing and I just got a new one