[MURIEL HESLOP (ENSEMBLE)]
Ooooh, baby
It would be so hard for me
So very hard for me
To tell a lie (Woah, woah, woah, woah)
Oooh, "baby"
Would not come naturally (No, no, no)
So very hard for me (Oh so hard)
But let me try
If I was on TV, them interviewing me
I'd say the search is done, I've found my number one (ooh)
We have the kind of love (wa-ooh) that makes a girl obsessed (wa-ooh)
My friends are so impressed (wa-ooh, wa-ooh), it's his chest they like best
(Oooh) He is my prince, just like a dream
(Oooh) My knight in shining Lycra, my sex machine
[ALEXANDER SHKURATOV, spoken]
What?
[MURIEL]
He and I are so mad
[KEN BLUNDELL, spoken]
You go, girl, go
[MURIEL]
Our love's like Krakatoa, it's about to blow
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Oh no!
[MURIEL]
Mr. and Mrs. Shk-, Shk-
[KEN, spoken]
Shkuratov!
[MURIEL]
We go off like a Mo-, Mo-, Molotov
Watch out for our love
It's gonna blow up
[ENSEMBLE]
Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov
[MURIEL]
Mr. and Mrs. Shk-, Shk-
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Shkuratov
[MURIEL & ENSEMBLE]
We go off like a Mo-, Mo-, Molotov
Watch out for our love
It's gonna blow up
[ENSEMBLE]
Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov
[MURIEL]
Bow-chicka-bow-chicka-bow-mm-bow
Looks like a movie star
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Heh?
[MURIEL]
Speaks like a Russian czar
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Oh, please!
[MURIEL]
His foreign body's hot
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
For what?
[KEN, spoken]
You heard!
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Please stop!
[KEN, spoken]
Do not!
[MURIEL]
Beefy like a Stroganoff
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Get her off me!
[MURIEL, spoken]
Yeah, get me off him
[KEN, spoken]
Say something nice, Alex
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
I don't know how
[KEN, spoken]
Just do it, now
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Mariel is female. This is good. I am not a female. Also this is good
[KEN, spoken]
Oh, Christ!
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Her hair is... good. Her lips are--
[KEN, spoken]
Don't you say good!
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Chapped?
[KEN]
Mate, you're really gonna have to do better than that
[KEN & ENSEMBLE]
Love is a competition
Anything less than perfection
Takes you in the wrong direction
Affection is imperative
[KEN]
Imperative!
[KEN & ENSEMBLE]
Have to do the best you can
'Cause love's a competition, and
To feel complete, you must compete
And to compete you must be competitive
[KEN]
If the media suspect that this is all a scheme
You can kiss goodbye to your Olympic dream
You want gold?
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Gold?
[KEN]
You want gold?
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Da!
[KEN]
You want gold?
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Da!
[KEN]
You want gold?
[ALEXANDER]
Daaaaaaaaaaa
I love my little Marial, and her small town charms
[MURIEL]
I love the way he holds me in his well-sculpted arms
[ALEXANDER]
I love the way her hair smells like the Baltic Sea
[MURIEL]
I love the way you're showin' Ken
How much you're lovin' me
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
Mr. and Mrs. Shk-, Shk-
[ALEXANDER]
Shkuratov
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
We go off like a Mo-, Mo-, Molotov
Watch out for our love
It's gonna blow up
[ENSEMBLE]
Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, wow
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
Mr. and Mrs. Shk-, Shk-, Shkuratov
We go off like a Mo-, Mo-, Molotov
Watch out
[ENSEMBLE]
Watch out
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
For our love
[ENSEMBLE]
For their love
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
Watch out
[ENSEMBLE]
Watch out
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
For our love
[ENSEMBLE]
For their love
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
Watch out
[ENSEMBLE]
Watch out
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
For our love
[ENSEMBLE]
For their love
[ALEXANDER & MURIEL]
It's gonna blow up
[ENSEMBLE]
Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov
Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov, Shkuratov
Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh
[COMPANY]
Fame is a competition
Anything less deserves no mention
Make the A-list for redemption
Famous is the pinnacle
[KEN]
The pinnacle!
[COMPANY]
Everybody's got a brand
Fame's a competition, and
Compete with people on the street
In their defeat
You will become mythical
[KEN, spoken]
What?
[COMPANY]
Mythical
[KEN, spoken]
What?
[ENSEMBLE]
Mythical, mythical
[KEN, spoken]
Uh! Uh! Come on! Yeah!
[ENSEMBLE]
Here she comes, her name is up in lights
Here she comes with the flash-flash in her eyes
Here she comes, here she comes, winning at life
Here comes the bride!
[MURIEL, spoken (Chorus, spoken)]
I will be Mrs Alexander Shkuratov! (Oohh)
I'll wear a white satin dress (Oohh)
With a lace bodice and pearl trims (Oohh)
And the longest train anybody's ever seen! (Oohh)
I'll look so beautiful! (Oohh)
They'll all be so jealous of me! (Oohh)
It'll be the happiest day of my life!
