Sam Haft
Moxxie’s Bad Trip (Episode Version)
[MOXXIE, spoken]
Blitzo? Blitz? I—
(coughing)
I can't see you!
God, this smells awful
What's that music?
Is that you? Is this a prank? Because I swear to Satan—

[BLITZO, spoken]
It is no prank, Moxxiferus

[MOXXIE, spoken]
Not even almost my name
Why do you sound like that?

[BLITZO, spoken]
Because you, Moxxiferus Rex the Third Esquire

[MOXXIE, spoken]
E— You know that's wrong!

[BLITZO, spoken]
Are tripping balls!

[MOXXIE]
No, what? How could this be?
I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT
It's a bad trip, oy gevalt!
Of course, Blitz, this would be your fault!
My lungs are full of honesty
Would you promise me
That you won't judge?

[BLITZO]
I won't

[MOXXIE]
Not trying to divulge too much
But I'm in too deep
So first of all
Fuck you

[BLITZO]
What?

[MOXXIE]
This is just typical
Well, two can play at this game of dismay
'Cuz if you're here causing frustration
I'm torturing you in your hallucination!

[Instrumental]

[MOXXIE]
Why do you hurt me so?
[BLITZO]
I know

[MOXXIE]
Why must you push your friends away?

[BLITZO]
I push my friends away

[MOXXIE]
Why does it seem like a recurring thing
That you alienatе with your toxic routine?

[BLITZO]
I don't know, eventually еveryone goes!

[MOXXIE]
'Cuz you're thoughtless and cruel, and you'll end up alone!

[Instrumental]

[BLITZO]
Why, Moxxie, why
Have you held your true feelings inside?

[MOXXIE]
I am scared of rejection
[BLITZO]
Why, Moxxie, why
Do you have Millie put it in your butt?

[MOXXIE]
It gives me an erectio—
Hey!

[BLITZO]
No need to hide
We accept your true feelings, so promise me

[MOXXIE]
That I can do

[MOXXIE & BLITZO]
To be true

[BLITZO]
The world is your anus, so peg it with honesty
I've been a jackass, it's true

[MOXXIE]
You've been a jackass, it's true

[BLITZO]
But soon as we're back as ourselves

[MOXXIE & BLITZO]
I will be a better imp
Than I was before

[MOXXIE]
Be better at speaking my mind, and

[MOXXIE & BLITZO]
Together we can begin to become
Kind