I am your neighbor. I seem most respectable
But underneath I'm an iniquitous toad
So many dreadful mishaps have befallen you ---
Down at the end of your road
And I live down the end of your road

I'm working on ways to remove you from paradise ---
From your striped lawn and your new swimming pool
I place broken bottles in your geraniums ---
Sabotage your gardening tools
And I live down the end of your road

By day I am a real estate gentleman
I deal in fine properties --- cheap at the price
After dark, I plan my most devious practices
Which you might think are not very nice

Designing a system to reverse your plumbing ---
Welling up, as you sit on your private throne
Will come up all kinds of vile and despicable nasties
You would rather not have in your home
And I live down the end of your road

Dispensed loathsome creatures in your drawing room
Sent doggy poo-poos in your morning mail
Rat's heads and lark's wings should set your tums turning
And your houses will soon be for sale
And I live down the end of your road
I live down the end of your road