Sometimes the dear never get a chance to see the head lights
Im paranoid about bring a girl home with bed mites
I can tell when its a mosquito or a from bug bed bite
Just the thought keeps me awake during deep sleep on a dead night

The universe knows more then i do so i just to let life
Tsunami all my troubles from my situation said right?

My mothers 16 hours away from me
But we're the closest
My pops 30 minutes closer
I never approach him

Love him dearly but clearly i rather be a homeless man
Then take his help in anything when he can be a helping hand
Theirs too much childhood Trauma
In some ways i cannot understand
I keep it bottled in and pretend I’m okay
But thats a faltered plan
Yet i feel him trying to reach me
I can't let him
My heart already damaged, already figured the lesson
Through all of my curses
Now its time for these daily blessings
Therapy through all my writing
In these Words my daily sessions
Smoking to clear my mind has never been an option
Something that  i never rock with
Once you start you couldn't stop it
Had a friend who was laced
And couldn’t replace
The feeling of chasing the first high someone had to create
This n***a made decisions in his life that hurt more then his faith
Seen him struggle to fight addiction
And he couldn’t get straight
All because his first addiction actually open a gate
They said He wasn’t strong enough
Thats why he didn’t last long enough

Im on move
Bag full of family issue
Wearing someone else’s shoes
Doesn’t make your path official

A lot of change
God put me in a place
To fail before i can win with some cards
Handed
To my face
N i g g a
Something i learn to say
My leaders never showed me a way
Negatives keep me drained
That why i meditate
That why i stay prayed up
Soon i’m getting off this train
I always carrying faith
There is something out there testing me
Fixing, correcting me
Its always blessing me
Why is it always Blessing me?

I needed grandparents guidance as a child
But i
Never met them on my father side
They died before they could provide that type of re enforcement
That gives a man the pride to keep his eye on a positive mind
Im rocking the vibe of an inner lost n***a
Giving the greatest advice to everyone else yet fighting with these flaws n***a
My heart is off
And i know the cause
I skip some stages as a young man
Being advance
But for what cost?
When i don’t have the total tools
To end the final boss
Dying at every loss
Dividing my mental
Sub sequential to not solving it all
Only when i quiet is when i hear the ring and answer the call
What i learned is the survivor was the quickest to draw
So i’m shooting with
What i believe in
Right at the wall
Till i knock it adjacent
Just face it negative placement could make it in the climate I’m climbing
And everyday I’m reminded
To find it
And its hiding
And i prey everyday to keep my mother with me so i pay her back for every time
She kept
Her only child shinning
No lying if i lose her i will lose it
Like a Kanye losing his Donda
Im happy to have my momma
But still feel like shit when she said she want to see me for the holidays
And out here doing the best i can to get my life as straight
As possible
Questioning how far have i gotten
Anxiety has me feeling rotten
Plus Im too damn poor to find a place
To call my own
And pride doesn’t allow me to ask as an option
Cause the last time I ask for help. 

Imma just stay in the water, It never cross my mind to ever leave all this water
You’ll probably never find the body that’s in the tube until its too late
Until it’s too late
Body floating in the tube, and then its too late
And then it’s too late