Look, your honour, this is what happened
So there I was anyway, right?
And I was in church, right? I was in local church
Because I'd just come back from Benidorm
And I needed to confess some sins
So I was looking for a priest to confess some sins to
Minding my own business
And anyway, across the way there's this little schoolboy, teenager
Looking at me pure smart
Looking, making funny faces like I'm a fool
So I leaned into his ear and I said

Fight me at Mass

Fight me at Mass
In front of the class
Lent is upon us and I don't want to fast

Fight me at Mass
It'll be a mad laugh
Scars across your face from the bishop's staff

Fight me at Mass
I won't let you pass
Embrace me in anger and smash the stained glass
Fight me at Mass
Abide by the pact
Bloody your knuckles in front of Father McGrath

Fight me at Mass
Let's have a clash
Your soul isn't cleansed until you hit me in lash

Make the most of the Holy Ghost
Put it on your tongue and entertain your host
Wear it on your clothes to scare your folks
Let's all hear it for the Holy Ghost

Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!

Fight me at Mass
I won't take it outside
I want to kick you in the face with Christ by my side

Fight me at Mass
And we'll break all our promises
The heavyweight champs ecclesiastical adonises

Fight me at Mass
Let's settle the score
Blood upon the tabernacle, sweat upon the floor
Fight me at Mass
Break me in half
Parishioners are offered it, they're betting in cash

Fight me at Mass
Cause our souls are lost
We're paying the cost to get Himself up off the cross

Make the most of the Holy Ghost
Put it on your tongue and entertain your host
Wear it on your clothes to scare your folks
Let's all hear it for the Holy Ghost

Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!