Bombs bombs bombs
Goin' off off off off off
Bombs bombs bombs bombs bombs
Goin' off off off off off
Bombs bombs bombs bombs bombs
Goin' off off off off off off
This morning in New Jersey
And yesterday in Chelsea, New York
Now I'm on the train in King's Cross in London
Goin' to Brighton
Was up late last night watchin' TV
And talkin' to Justin about the future and our families
And our music and our tour
And we cancelled France
Cause the ticket sales smelled like cow manure
I'm tired baby
I'm tired tired tired tired tired
I'm tired baby
I'm tired tired tired tired tired
I'm tired baby
I'm tired tired tired tired
But I just arrived in beautiful Brighton
And I hear the seagulls outside
And I feel inspired
Gonna stand up tonight
And own my space in this music venue
I believe it's called something like Concord 2
And for whoever will be there tonight
They're surely gonna witness
My lack of tending to my physical fitness
The Lord says our body is the temple of the soul
Joel Osteen says our body is the temple of the soul
Jerry Falwell said our body was the temple of the soul
Easier said than done, baby
When you're on tour at 49 years old
But I've not smoked a cigarette in all of 2016
And truly I'm keeping up
With my 40 pushups a day exercise routine
And I'm happy to be here singing for you tonight
In lovely Brighton
With Nick on bass, Scott on drums
And of course my old friend Justin
Thank you everyone very much for comin' out tonight
It means a lot to us
We're gonna make sure the show is super tight
OK now, here we go with our first song
It's for mothers and fathers
Who have lost their daughters and their sons
Now I'm on my way to Amsterdam
On EasyJet
My shirt and jacket and underwear and socks
Are full of sweat
Ticket sales are slow
But hey, that's just the way it goes
I've oversaturated my European market
Playin' too many shows
Plus there's Brexit
And the Brazilian-hosted Summer Olympics
And your money is thin
Cause let's face it
These music festivals are a fuckin' racket
But I woke up today
Got my suitcase and I packed it
I hop on airplanes every day
Like a little fuckin' bunny rabbit
Oh Amsterdam
Oh Am- Am- Amsterdam
Oh Amsterdam
Oh Am- Am- Amsterdam
Here I am here I am here I am
Here I am here I am here I am
Here I am here I am here I am
Here I am here I am here I am
And I'm happy to be here, I truly am
I don't smoke marijuana or cigarettes or hash
That's cause generally for the most part
I'm naturally relaxed
Pretty soon we're gonna play the song I mentioned earlier
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being here
I'm glad I'm alive and healthy
Here tonight in Holland
Not six feet under in a tourist graveyard
Like Mr Mojo Risin
Or Kurt Cobain or Prince or Michael Jackson or Janis Joplin
I'm feelin' pretty good tonight
Thank you for askin'
This song is almost over
And soon you're all gonna be clapping
Then I'm gonna sing some songs
Do some spoken word
And then a little bit of rappin'
Then after the show
I'll be back in my hotel room
Wackin' my bone
All all all all all all all alone
Cause I'm almost 50
And that's just the way the wind blows
Yeah I'm almost 50
And it's just the way the wind blows
Anyhow, that's that
I hope you enjoy the show
Thanks again for coming
I hope you enjoy the show
I'm leavin' Holland today
And I gotta say
I'm not gonna miss your fuckin' bikes bikes bikes
Bikes bikes bikes
Bikes bikes bikes
Bikes bikes bikes
Bikes bikes bikes
Yikes yikes yikes
Yikes yikes yikes
Here comes another fuckin' bike
Watch out! Fuck!
Get out the way!
Here comes yet another fuckin' bike
Holy motherfucker of Christ
Holland loves their fuckin' bikes
They sneak up out of nowhere so fast
And they make me paranoid and totally uptight
I'm gonna miss you Holland
But my God I'm not gonna miss
These goddamn bikes
Yikes yikes yikes
Yikes yikes yikes
Yikes yikes yikes
Your bikes cause me serious fuckin' fright
Now I'm on my way from Amsterdam by train
To Poland to play the Asymmetry Festival
Yeah, it's somewhere in Poland
It's in a city that for the life of me I can't pronounce
Please forgive me
It's called "Rock-law"
Or maybe something else (WROCLAW!)
Last name is Kozelek
And I'm of Polish ancestry
Last name is Kozelek
And I'm of Polish ancestry
Last name is Kozelek
And I'm of Polish ancestry
But honestly I don't know much about my family tree
But I'm proud of where I'm from
And who I've turned out to be
I love my father and my mother
Very very very very dearly
Down there in the history line
There must be some kind of proof of my bloodline
For I am strong
And I love Polish food
I love white borscht
I love love love love love white borscht
And Polish sausage
And I also love love love red borscht
And I love Perogies
And potato pancakes with sour cream
And kielbasa and sauerkraut
On Easter Sunday morning
Andrew Golota is from Po- Po- Po- Poland
Andrew Golota was known for low low low low blowin'
Andrew Golota is from (WAR- WAR- WARSAW!), Poland
Was disqualified in his fights with Riddick Bowe
For low low blowin'
But lots of people in this world should be disqualified
Like both people running for office in the USA
They tell lots of fuckin' lies
Lots of people in high places should be disqualified
For low blowin' entire countries
And fuckin' up millions of people's lives
Anyhow, I love you Po- Po- Po- Po- Poland
But tomorrow morning unfortunately I gotta be goin'
Off to Copenhagen for a show
Then I'm goin' home
But I'll be back next year
If the OFF Festival invites me
I hope so
Good night good night
I love you love you love you Poland
Good night good night
I'm proud to play for you tonight in Poland
Good night, I love you I love you I love you Po- Po- Poland
You are my roots and yeah I'm proud of that
Now I gotta get goin'
Back from Denmark
And now I'm in O- O- Omaha
Had lunch at Blatt
And the waiter there called me boss
He asked "How's your salad, boss?"
I said "It's good"
He said "That's great, boss"
Then I said "Can I get the check?"
And he said "Sure thing, boss"
Then I left and I looked at the street
And I walked across it
Thinkin' that salad wasn't bad
I liked the way they tossed it
Then I walked in the venue
And poured some water into a plastic cup
From the faucet
Now I'm singing in front of you all
And it's fall
And it's nice to be here for the first time ever in Omaha
So far to me it's more interesting to me
Than, say, Fairbanks, Alaska
Over here in Omaha, Nebraska
Yesterday I arrived in Ar- Ar- Arizona
Helicopters were flyin' over my hotel room
Until two in the morning
I went walking earlier in the night
To find a Safeway
Ended up walkin' down a street
That was so dark and long
I got so afraid
Pretty soon cop cars were drivin' by
And checkin' me out
My heart was pounding
Man, I gotta tell you, seriously, I was freaking out
Helicopters appeared above
Shining their beaming lights down at me
I thought "holy motherfucker God
These motherfuckers are gonna kill me"
Then I called Ben
I said "Whatever you do, seriously
Don't walk down this street"
He said "Cool man
I'll meet you in 20 minutes in the lobby"
Though I wanted to run
I walked briskly instead
Didn't want a hundred 22 calibers
Pointed at my head
Drove to the Safeway
And it was surrounded by cops
I asked a cop "Hey, what's going on in this parking lot"
He said "A guy is loose
Don't worry about it
We're gonna find him eventually"
I said "How do you know that guy isn't me?"
He said "Listen smart ass
You don't fit his description"
I said "Hey, I could be strapped for all you know"
He said "Hey, you want me to start friskin'?"
I said "Not really"
And he said "Listen man, I'm serious
You better be on your way"
I said "But your cop car looks so cozy
And I'm enjoying this conversation"
Anyhow, it's nice to be here here here in Phoenix
Even though the cops are complete fucking dicks
Anyhow it's nice to be here here here here here here in Phoenix
I hope you like this next song
You might recognize it
It's my biggest hit
(Shut the fuck up and listen to him!)
(Shut the fuck up and listen to him!)
(Shut the fuck up and listen to him!)
(Shut the fuck up and listen to him!)
So now here we are in Tu- Tu- Tu- Tucson
Got to the venue and the pow- pow- pow- power wasn't on
The guys at the venue said that the battery died
In the new generator
I said "You better get it fixed fast
You tattooed motherfuckers
Or see you later"
But within the hour
They got the power turned on
And it was all smiles
And I'm happy to be here in Tucson
We ate next door at Miss Saigon
The spring roll tasted good
Once I put the sriracha on
It's good it's good it's good to be here in Tucson
Let's keep our fingers crossed that the power stays on
Now I'm off to China
And trust me, this song could go on and on and on
But maybe it's wearing out its welcome
I don't know
I'm enjoying singing this song
This song could go on and on and on and on and on and on
Maybe it's almost over
I don't know
But I hope you're enjoying this song
I know that some of you are thinking
This song is way too long
That's OK with me
You can listen to Green Day instead
Or play a game of ping pong
(Hey Mark, sorry to stop you but I think it is getting a little too long)
Oh alright, let's take a break and maybe get some dinner over at Tu Lan
