There's blood on my hands
And mud on my name
My Id threw a party and everyone came
My innocence ravaged
My virtue devoured
I can't count the strangers with whom I have showered

I've taken a life
Been stripped to my essence
And to think all I wanted was swing dance lessons

Mary Jane, oh, Mary Jane
You crumpled me like cellophane
You stirred me up like beef chow mein
You wreck me, Mary Jane

Mary Jane, oh, Mary Jane
You conquered me like Charlemagne
Pleasure intertwined with pain
You wreck me, Mary Jane

Your toxic kisses make my heart race
Faster than a cheetah
I've been stapled and spindled
My willpower's dwindled
You melt resistance down like hot Velveeta!
Mary Jane, oh, Mary Jane
You flush my future down the drain
You smeared me like a ketchup stain
But I need you, I love you
I'm loved by Mary...Lane

All:
Loved by Mary, loved by Mary
Loved by Mary Lane

Jimmy:
Lane...I'm loved by Mary Lane!
"There's only room for one Mary in my life...Mary Lane! With an L -- for love! I love Mary Lane!"

All:
Loved by Mary, loved by Mary
Loved by Mary Lane

Mary:
"Jimmy, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? It's almost nine p.m.!"

Jimmy:
Mary Lane, oh, Mary Lane
Two words that fall like gentle rain

Mary:
"Did you take my car?"
Jimmy:
Touch my hand and kill my pain
I love you, Mary Lane

Mary:
"Jimmy, I'm in my nightgown!"

Jimmy:
You flood my world with all the colors of the Sunday funnies
Innocent splendor, kisses so tender
Softer than a pillow stuffed with bunnies!

Mary:
"Bunnies? I don't know what you're talking about, but I like the sound of it!"
Mary Lane, oh, Mary Lane
Will help you sing a new refrain

Jimmy:
With you beside we'll start again
Just me and Mary

Mary:
You and Mary

Jimmy:
(You) Me and Mary Lane!
Both:
When life becomes a roller coaster and
I can't keep my footing

Mary:
I'll love you completely

Jimmy:
And steady me sweetly
Sweet as Shirley Temple dipped in pudding!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Mary:
Sweet as Shirley Temple pudding!
Mary Lane

Jimmy:
Oh, Mary Lane!

Both:
Our hearts pound like a diesel train
The world may crumble, we'll remain

Jimmy:
Just me and Mary

Mary:
You and Mary

Jimmy:
I'm loved by Mary!

Mary:
Loved by Mary, loved by Mary
Loved by Mary Lane!

Mae, Jack:
Loved by Mary, loved by Mary

Clams:
Loved by Mary Lane!

Miss Poppy:
Loved by Mary, loved by Mary

Cop, Dead Old Man:
Loved by Mary Lane!

Satan:
Loved by Mary

Joan of Arc:
Ma du Mary

Jesus:
Not Mary Magdalene but Lane!

Ralph, Sally:
Loved by Mary, loved by Mary

Chinese man:
Mary Lane (??)

Lecturer, Parents:
Loved by Mary, loved by Mary
Loved by Mary Lane!

Jimmy, Mary (ad-libbing):
Loved by Mary, loved by Mary
Loved by Mary Lane!

We'll sing to the rafters of happily afters!

Jimmy:
I love you

Mary:
You're loved by

Both:
Mary Lane!