He was a dealer of dirty jokes breathing unfiltered Camel smoke
And everything he said was a lie but he had me by the rope
The noose around my neck with every yawning story that he told
But I still listened there, bended ear hoping I'd come close
To touch the truth and hit the root of the life that he lived
He never ran guns or shot pool with any famous chicks
Phil Spector wasn't his bitch waitin' on his lips
For a little bit of cocaine or braceful beautiful wish
I know my words will slip and I know I tell a couple lies
I've known to accentuate; exaggeratin' stories all the time
And I wonder why, will it magnify by the time I reach fifty
And realise my life never turned out the way I planned it simply
So I gotta stretch the truth and tell the things I never did
Until I'm runnin' guns with Saddam Hussain and all his stupid kids
So I wonder why he'd tell those lies and breath it down my neck
A bunch of foul smoke inside of my ears on whiskey breath
And I'm sittin' here - a little kid right in front of his chair
Tellin' another story c'mon Uncle bend my freakin' ear
I wanna hear the tale, tell me time again over now
How you were runnin' drugs across the border from the north on down
To Alaska, along the oil pipeline and into Canada
Taking 'em down through Washington state and hanging out
And doing damage to the brain that God gave 'im wonderin' what I understand
If you don't have the truth how can I shake your hand see
And I got a couple questions that make me a little curious, homie
Doesn't the story make up the man when the man makes up the story?
There was never stolen cars, there was always a couple bars
There was eyes full of stars and a lack-luster fallin hard
And everything I understood that you done with your life
Has all just been sacrificed upon the cross of truth tonight
See, I seen it all breakin' down, a sad old man
With a couple bruised rib cages and a shaky left hand
His beard is scraggly and the top of his head is goin' bald
And it's all peeling away, falling back, all the stories that he told
And I wonder where I can find the truth inside this now
It's more than the toast, it's the crumbs of the motherfucker breakin' down
And watchin' after sixty five years upon this earth
What happens to everything that you thought made up your worth
And see I know there's a couple bits of truth in all of this
There was no stolen cars, there was a couple of stolen kisses
Couple of illegitimate kids, a couple of broken bottles
And all the time in prison, all the time inside the hospital
Was the thing that was real without the mass appeal
The truth is always the ugliest side so should polish it up for real

And so it makes you wonder
Why would this motherfucker tell me all these lies
And pull the rug out under the covers
And I'm lookin' at him now, stare inside his sunken eyes
And realise he ain't the bit of wisdom, the super-sized guy
He's just an old man, slow hand, stumbblin' breath
Just tryin' to make it up the stairs without losing, pains in chests
And I think what will happen to me when I wake up from this dream
And realise I'm twenty four see and I got a couple years left
A couple beers left, a couple friends left, a couple grindin' gears left
And I'm breakin' sweat and wonderin' one day how I will be breakin' down
And live in an old folks town wearin' my tattered broken crown
And I'll be wavin' a hand for servants that answer no beck and call
Because everyone has left standing me holdin' my balls
And I got to make ends meat in this thing I called my life
The bitter circle ring that made me back to the beginning right
I started to help this baby into this way in a wheelchair maybe
And now I gotta act, maybe explain the way that I was so crazy
Tell you why I lived this stupid lie that I did
And all the time that I spent chasin' around girls and chicks
And all the time that ain't for shit, you told me the truth
The truth is you can't lie if you gotta try to produce because
Life'll bite you in the ass in the end
And then you're standin' there on the corner without any friends
Because all your friends know what happens after it's done
Because at least one person was there to witness all the truth, son