Somebody answer my front door
Somebody answer the telephone
The sun's an affliction
Someone's work of fiction
God tormenting all his drinkers
Get out of bed if you're still in there

Somebody answer my front door
Tell them that I am alive no more
No bygones be bygones
No shoulders to cry on
Just this piercing winter's morning
Brandishing its branding iron

You're an embarrassment
You do not have the right to speak
After what you said about me last night
Shit doesn't bounce, it sticks
It's something that you should get used to
It may follow you the rest of your life

Don't try to persuade her of my better nature
All there is is black as ink
And front page of the morning paper

You're an embarrassment
You do not have the right to speak
After what you said about me last night
Shit doesn't bounce, it sticks
It's something that you should get used to
It may follow you the rest of your life
You're an embarrassment
If I were you I'd hope you'd shoot me
There's no act to follow that of last night
You've got a way with words that no one else can emulate
I don't think anyone's that crazy to try

You're an embarrassment
Do you know who you tried seducing?
You've got the world convinced you're out of your mind
Your foresight is next to none
You wove that rope and hung yourself
You're gonna feel it for the rest of your life

You're an embarrassment to be so sick in reputation
You should be quarantined and never let out
Your behavior's beyond belief
It does not fear the burning question

Good morning, how you gonna live with yourself?