[Chorus]
Oh, oi am an English nobleman
A nobleman am oi
My dignity would be besmirched
If you hit me in the face with a pie

[Verse 1]
My nobility is blended with senility
To this institution, oi been committed
But the officials and me should have a cup of tea
And with that, I should be acquitted

[Chorus]
For oi am an English nobleman
A nobleman am oi
My dignity would be besmirched
If you hit me in the face with a pie

[Verse 2]
As a child, I drew in the dust on the stair
Envisioning sword fights, frightful scare
But not a wielder of the sword became oi
But a wielder of the common pie

[Chorus]
But I am an English nobleman
A nobleman am oi
My dignity would be besmirched
If you hit me in the face with a pie