Tonight was just great, she taught us the sign for peace
Now she's made us some popcorn, we've turned out the lights and we're watching movies
I don't understand and she tries to explain
How a spaceship is riding through somebody's brain
And there's blood and guts and...

She's the best one that we've ever had
She sits on her hair and she's tall as my dad
And she tie-dyed my shirt and she pierced her own ear
And it's peace, man, cool, yeah, the babysitter's here...

Her boyfriend is Tom, but we call him the king of romance
He wears an American flag on the butt of his ripped-up pants
And will they get married with kids of their own?
He says, "Not if she's going to college we won't,"
And he kisses her, oh...
Someday I'll have a boyfriend just like that...

She's the best one that we've ever had
She sits on her hair and she's tall as my dad
And she got mad at dinner when Tom drank a beer
But peace, man, cool, hey, the babysitter's here...

And we all went to see her go dance at the high school
We made her a big card
And she told us that she'd be the unicorn wearing the pink leotard
And there she was, leaping up just like she said
With a sparkling horn coming out of her head
And she's oh... oh...
I can't wait to give her the card, I can't wait to give her the card!
She's the best one...

Okay, so, the play was called The Unicorn, and she was the unicorn, so that means that the star was... my babysitter

But it's Saturday night, I can't sleep
And we're watching the news
She says "Do me a favor, don't go with a guy who would make you choose," and
I don't understand and she tries to explain
And all that mascara runs down in her pain
'Cause she's leaving me...

You're the best one that we ever had
You sit on your hair, and you're tall as my dad
And I'll make you a picture for college next year
So hush now, peace, man, the babysitter's here
The best babysitter's here