Illogic
HERstory
[Verse 1]
She was 10 to 12, hell immersed
Burst into tears when pops popped moms daily
Daily operation of defensive mechanics
Kept trust issues forefront, now she’s 20, simply timid to love
Above all, she wanted to feel
Haunted by memory reels of bloody noses mom rocked to sleep
Self esteem, a mountain too steep to climb
At times she sniffed lines to leave her mind in fine safety
Had nothing to stand for so she fell for everything voluntarily
Longed to lead a life worth cherishing
‘cause after one night of binging with alcohol, cigarettes, ex-coke and weed smoke, she felt so empty
But the multitudes of men manipulated melancholy
The only thing she felt she could control was her body
Innocence lost at 14, left home at 16 with the clothes on her back and a duffel bag of shattered dreams
Camouflage the screens with eyeliner and empty smiles
While the sunbeams beamed with the brilliance that was seen for miles
She needed someone to care but no one was there
Her best friends were Jack Daniels and a ragged childhood teddy bear companion
Floated on to see a promise that trickled down the drain
’til she crossed paths with a man who actually asked for her name
The sincerity in his eyes was a disguise she was blinded by
For the first time, she wanted to trust and didn’t know why

[Chorus]
Her story was
Full of pain, heartache and lessons learned
Her story was
All frowns, regret and childhood memories
Her story was
[?] promises, shot glasses and nightmares
Her story was
Trademarks, black eyes and dark histories
[Verse 2]
The next few weeks she couldn’t believe
‘cause out of nowhere her knight in shining armor galloped by on his noble steed
He showered her with hugs and unconditional love
Plus he had access to all the drugs she’d need
Gave her a sense of security and purpose
And for the first time in her life, she didn’t feel worthless
‘cause he was a savior, thorn crown and all
And now she soars above clouds with no plans to fall
His rep preceded every step he took
A hustler by nature, believe me, whatever your taste he had the flavor
Weeks turned to months and with that, sniffed lines turned to needle tracks
And soft words to hard slaps to memory reels played back
And now she rocks to sleep bloody noses and black eyes
Cried why, shot lies in her veins to stay high
Tried to run from the past, the future’s destined to be
Now she’s a battered junkie with no hope at 23
Didn’t care how hard he hit, she was convinced that love was rough
Plus he showed his when he tied her off to shoot up
She’d been trained that love was pain from childhood
Had father to thank for the holding tank in which she now stood
With no room to breathe, she OD’d, clutching her teddy bear
The funeral was small, only her mother and minister there
Mom came home to pops drunk and passed out
With tears in her eyes she smothered him with a pillow that covered his mouth