Realization

[Thistle]

I guess I donʼt know what I was expecting. We barely know each other to begin with... and two days... What can you do?



Maybe I wanted more than he could give me

Maybe we donʼt have all that much to say

Maybe Iʼm nervous. Maybe he hates me

Maybe Iʼm making it all too big a deal



Iʼve been so open. Doesnʼt he owe me?

No. Maybe itʼs time to look within





Every dollar spent on this is feeling wasted

All of the months of planning, building, orchestrating

You were supposed to be my rock, my saving presence

You were supposed to be my perfect iteration

You were supposed to solve this crushing desperation

You were supposed to be, you were supposed to be

You were supposed to be the thing to fix it all!



Maybe Iʼm broken on the inside

Too many hours spent online

All of the structures I put into place

Have only served to compromise my health

Maybe Iʼm working with the wrong guy

Maybe I have to grow myself

Under construction

Under the impression

That one weekend was the antidote

The fix for all the things I broke

The ever-growing manifold of

Issues I cannot withhold

Youʼll hardly recognize the mold here, once Iʼm done

Maybe go all the way

Maybe Iʼll... Maybe...



Iʼm sorry