One! Two! Three! Four!

[Verse 1]
Fortune has me well in hand
Armies wait at my command
My gold lies in a foreign land, buried deep beneath the sand
The angels guide my every tread
My enemies are sick or dead
But all the victories I've led, haven't brought you to my bed

[Chorus]
You see, everybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do to offend you?

[Verse 2]
Now the purest race I've bred for thee
To live in my democracy
And the highest human pedigree awaits the first-born boy, baby
And my face on every coin engraved
The anarchists are all enslaved
My own flag is forever waved by grateful people I have saved

[Chorus]
You see, everybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do to offend you?
[Verse 3]
Now no land is beyond my claim
When the land is seized in the people's name
By evil men who rob and maim, if war is hell, I'm not to blame
Why, you can't blame me, I'm Heaven's child
I'm the second son of Mary mild
And I'm twice removed from Oscar Wilde, but he didn't mind, why, he just smiled

[Verse 4]
Yes, and the ocean parts when I walk through
And the clouds dissolve and the sky turns blue
I'm held in very great value by everyone I meet but you
'Cause I've used my talents as I could
I've done some bad, I've done some good
I did a whole lot better than they thought I would, so, c'mon, and treat me like you should!

[Chorus]
Because everybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Tell me, what did I do to offend you?

Yeah, verybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Tell me, what did I do to offend you?
Woo! Yeah!
Everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Tell me what did I do to offend you!