[Spoken / Verse 1]
I wanna watch fat people have to move houses
I wanna watch them get evicted
I wanna watch them bend over and feel the crease in their knees while picking up boxes of things they never needed to buy
Feeling suffering throughout their half-a-life corpse knowing it didn't have to be this way and asking "Why?"
I want them to feel every life choice they've made in their throat while they run out of breath
I want them to fall to their knees and ask God for forgiveness while they run out of steps

[Spoken / Verse 2]
I want them to know they will never get to be in the presence of the ambitious people they see on TV
They will never be able to fulfill their dream of copulating with an attractive person like me
While everybody else is fighting temptation to stay pure, they could only dream of being a whore
If they make it to Heaven, I hope God doesn't change their appearance so all of their ancestors can see what all of their hard work was for
I want them to know that their mother may have sympathy for them, but you have tormented your dad
I want them to know that not only do they smell bad but they look like they smell bad
I hope the landlord adds extra flights of stairs to their apartment complex and they trip while counting their pills to maintain their mess
I want them to know that their failure to comply has not only caused them pain but has made others cry
I want them to know that the avoidance of suffering has caused the greatest suffering; the loss of their life

[Chorus]
Please
Don't put me
In Funny Jail
Because I worked so hard
And all I do is fail
It may be fun to you
But what if it's true?
Please don't put me in funny jail
I know you're waiting for someone else to say "It's Okay"
But I feel it's weight
Woah, no
Woah, no (No No No)
Woah, no (No No No)
Woah, no (No No No)