Hop in the car
Don't you know that it’s the perfect time
To have a Bar Mitzvah
No time to call mom
And please try your hardest to sit still
For this caricature artist

The screeching tires of friar fryer's car
Are gaining on us fast
But don't worry
’Cause I might just add some
Nitrous to this gas

[Chorus]
You gotta get up
You gotta get on
Just take Thornpants all the way home
You're at the crossroads of your life
So drift on through
You know that life's got a lot waiting for ya
So jump on the hood and start reading the Torah
This song, this car, this road
It's all for you

The Buddhist hummer is spittin' out smog
But we'll shatter the sound barrier like it was a glass corndog
The Mennonites are holding the courses
There's something fancy that they're feeding their horses
The gun shots ring
The choir sing
They’re leading you astray
But we’ve got a motorcade of motivaters
For your special day

[Chorus] x 2
You gotta get up
You gotta get on
Just take Thornpants all the way home
You're at the crossroads of your life
So drift on through
You know that life’s got a lot waiting for ya
So jump on the hood and start reading the Torah
This song, this car, this road
It's all for you