Born in the ice storm of ‘94
The youngest of three, but with Moose, that makes four
Mom put me in helmets ‘cause my head was large
I looked like a doofus, but she was in charge

I ate a brick bench, got a scar on my lip
Got equinophobia on a field trip
Sold my soul to a demon to see how I die
I enjoy origami and baking some pie

I went to Hopkins and got a degree
But that does not seem to be helping me
Now I live with my mom ‘cause I cannot get work
I still have to wear helmets ‘cause she is a jerk

That demon’s still here, but I do not know why
May 6, 2030 is when I will die
The scene of my death is incredibly bleak
New videos at the end of every week!