[Verse 1]
Larry got a job as a soda jerk
He worked five days, bought a '55 'Merc
He raised it in the front, he lowered in the back
And ow all the girls just call him "'Mercury Jack"

[Chorus]
He's the 'Merc man, how do you do?
('Merc man) That's who
('Merc man) He likes to cruise around
('Merc man) He's got his coolness down

[Verse 2]
Saturday night, Larry's in the valley dancin'
He looks across the room
And spots some black stretch pants
And she got legs that go clear up to the rafters
A pair of nocturnal fantasy hips
He knew right away what he was after
When she looked his way and moistened her lips

[Chorus]
He said, "I'm the 'Merc man, how do you do?"
('Merc man) That's who
('Merc man) He likes to cruise around
('Merc man) He's got his coolness down
[Verse 3]
Larry's pulse quickened as she crossed the floor
He backed up slowly and pulled her to the door
She said "Yes" with her X-ray eyes
She walked up to him and he just sighed

[Chorus]
I'm the 'Merc man, how do you do?
('Merc man) That's who
('Merc man) He likes to cruise around
('Merc man) He's got his coolness down

[Outro]
('Merc man)
('Merc man)
('Merc man) How do you do?
('Merc man) Well, that's who
('Merc man)
('Merc man)
('Merc man) He likes to cruise around
('Merc man) 'Cause he's got his coolness down
('Merc man) How do you do?
('Merc man) That's who
('Merc man)
('Merc man) 'Cause he's a 'Merc man
('Merc man) He's the 'Merc man
('Merc man)
('Merc man) The 'Merc man
('Merc man) 'Merc man, yeah
('Merc man) The 'Merc man
('Merc man) The 'Merc man
('Merc man) The 'Merc man