[Narrator]
The lights come up on a New York City apartment complex, aptly called "The Woods". The company of actors sets the scene

[Jitter]
Irony
Ambiguity
Dissonance
Angst

[Chorus]
Welcome to our complex
Our apartment complex
Welcome to
"The Woods"

[Jitter]
All of our tenants
Are very neurotic

[Abby]
Emotional lives are
Completely chaotic

[Billy]
The songs in their hearts
Aren't ever melodic

[Jeune]
Everyone here
Is a little bit lost

[Jeune and Abby]
In "The Woods"

[Chorus]
Welcome to "The Woods"

[Abby]
The sentiments heard here
Are seldom endearing

[Billy]
It's kind of slow going
But worth persevearing

[Jeane]
It may not sink in
'Til the third or fourth hearing

[Jitter]
Then, if you're bright
There's a glimmer of light

[Jitter and Jeune]
In "The Woods"

[Chorus]
Welcome to "The Woods"

Don't feel obtuse
Yes, it's abstruse
Everyone here has at least one
Screw loose

[Jitter]
Unlikable people
With lives that are hollow
It's all food for thought
But a bit hard to swallow

[Abby]
So don't feel too bad
If you don't really follow
You're not alone

[Chorus]
But then, no one's alone
In "The Woods"
Welcome to "The Woods"

[Abby]
Apartment 60!

[Jitter]
Abby!
She's bitter and boozy
A bit of a floozy
She's blowzy and flowzy
And not very choosy

[Abby]
Apartment 75!

[Jitter]
Billy!

[Jeune]
He wants to write songs
But the prospects are dismal
His thoughts are so deep
That, in fact, they're abysmal

[Abby]
Apartment 73!

[Jitter]
Jeune!

[Billy]
Finances restricted
Emotions conflicted
She wanders and wonders
When she'll be evicted

By the landlord

[Billy and Abby]
There's always the landlord

[Chorus]
But who is the landlord?

Jitter!
Jitter!
Jitter!