[Spoken Stage Direction]
The lights come up on a party at Abby's swank penthouse apartment! Abby appears at the top of a staircase. The audience applauds wildly! (Even though she hasn't done anything yet.)

[Chorus]
Thank God you're
Here, Abby
You're our
Dear Abby
Your heart is made of pure gold
Lamé!

Talk is cheap as dirt
But still, you know
Your two cents
Is worth a million
Oh, Abby
Dear Abby
Don't ever go away!

[Abby]
You know, I always say: Life is-

[Chorus]
We want you
Here
(We want you here)
Abby!
We're sincere
(We're sincere)
Abby!
Your TLC is
A-OK
('Cause you're strictly SRO from A to Z!)

While it must be great to be you so
Stay right here where we can see you
Oh, Abby
Dear Abby
Don't ever go away!

[Abby]
Yes - as I was saying: You know, life would be so sensational if-

[Chorus]
You stay right
Here, Abby
Is that clear
Abby
Don't ever
Go
Away!

[Junie Faye]
Oh, Abby!

[Abby]
Yes, Junie Faye?

[Junie Faye]
I have a cold in my nose, a crick in my neck, and ribbons down my back! And I can't pay the rent! What do I do now?