[Chorus]
Oh, please don't
Go, Abby
Don't you
Know, Abby
We'll fall apart if you go
Away!

[Female Singer]
Go away, go away, go away!

[Chorus]
We don't have a shred of pride ourselves
When you're gone, we're just beside ourselves
We could never fill the bill ourselves
If you go, we'll have to kill ourselves

[Spoken Stage Direction]
Dance break!

(Dance break)

[Spoken Stage Direction]
He leaps!

She leaps!
Leap together!

Leap together!

Abby returns, after her fortieth and final costume change of the show!

[Chorus]
We're queer for
Dear Abby
Is that
Clear, Abby
Don't ever
Go
Away

[Spoken Stage Direction]
The audience, led by gay men, rises to their feet!

[Chorus]
Abby
Abby
Abby
Aaaaaaaa!