[Verse 1]
Wash all the pots and linens
Find a psychoanalyst
Go the bank and deposit checks
Sweep up the shattered dish

Return everything that I've borrowed
Change all the bloody gauze
Buy a spinach colored dinner jacket
Defy all natural laws

[Chorus]
Ooh oh oh, cancel "Better Homes and Gardens"
Ooh oh oh, admire gothic arches

[Verse 2]
Become a lot more happy
Build a maze of Styrofoam
Befriend an unfortunate lunatic
Wail on a saxophone

Walk down the road into darkness
Fall in an orchestra pit
Have an affair in the provinces
Bring flowers to thе sick
[Chorus]
Ooh oh oh, find out what's killing the bees
Ooh oh oh, proclaim a lasting peace

[Verse 3]
Opеn the blinds, let the light in
Stand in the amorous rays
Rise up in the name of liberty
Throw out my fascist berets

Purchase balloons for the ballroom
Buy some asparagus
Buy a harmonium and powdered wig
Buy after dinner mints

[Chorus]
Ooh oh oh, buy head cheese and hock of ham
Ooh oh oh, become a family man

[Verse 4]
Finish "The Wealth of Nations"
Discover a miracle drug
Learn all supreme court justices' names
And test the limits of love

Acquire more guilty pleasures
Sit and watch as the plague goes by
Wash the hot fry stains from my hands
And laugh until I cry
[Chorus]
Ooh oh oh, throw out all the songs I wrote
Ooh oh oh, and buy a buckskin coat (woo!)

[Outro]
*instrumental*