I knew that I'd hit a new low
Last week, when I referred to my own mother as 'the old ball-and-chain'
I was in a seminal post-punk group
I screamed that in the faces of extended family
At my granddad's funeral
And they don't understand
And they wouldn't care if they did
But I was almost something
Yeah, I was almost something
And now I'm almost nothing
And I'm almost certain that I've got chlamydia

My leg extended as the train shot through the platform at high speed
And I wondered what was left to separate him and me
See, I've been losing since about mid-2016
And I'm far less handsomе now than I used to be
Girls in skirts still scare thе shit out of me
And I never get laid outside of virtual reality
But I used to be cool, I used to be king of this city
But keeping up with the kids is just a little bit too tricky

I had to find a new me
I gave myself three weeks
I bought a MacBook Pro
And tried to find my niche
You all play loud guitars
You call it 'pretty hard'
Well, I use a backing track
And I call that 'avant-garde'
I was supposed to be fine when I cut down my drinking
But I became paralysed from over-thinking
And I analyse all of your Instagram posts
Seasons 1 to 3 of Game of Thrones
Which profile picture got liked the most
And every member of the crowd at all the edgiest shows
I was just looking for a sign
And sex advice
I was just looking for a sign
And sex advice