I don't feel okay anymore

I'm still lost
To you it's a work of art
To me it was just the start
Of the spiraling of thought

In the effort to help
Really it all just evolved
As if I'm under a spell
Trapping me inside these walls

Contemplate the circumstances
Gravity just let go
I'm floating to another planet
Hope I just implode

From the air feeling thinner
Ever thinner in my throat
Never thought that I would say this
But it feels so good to choke

Sudden feeling rushes you
As if this could be the end
Release me from the hold
Stop the voices in my head

I cannot feel a thing
Past the death of consciousness
I cannot just explain
What it is I have no breath

The rapid rise of pressure
That I felt when my heart leapt
Right out of my chest
And it the floor right where I should step

I gaze into the mirror
It appears that I haven't slept
Is this all just a dream
Or am I pushing myself to death?

I've said it all before
I've just wasted my fucking breath
I'm sounding like a bore
Maybe this is why all you left

Maybe this is what it is
To be what I've always dreamt
Or maybe this is just
What I have done to myself instead