[ANGEL]
Who died?

[BENNY]
Our Akita

[ANGEL, ROGER]
Evita

[BENNY]
You make fun, yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's a fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

[MARK]
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes

[COLLINS & ROGER]
Dies irae, dies illa, kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v'yitkadash

[MARK]
Here she lies, no one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On these nights when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass, you bet your ass to
La vie Boheme
[ALL]
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

[MARK]
To days of inspiration, playing hookey
Making something out of nothing
The need to express to communicate
To going against the grain
Going insane, going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension
To starving for attention
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention, of course, hating dear old Mom and Dad
To riding your bike midday past the three-piece suits
To fruits, to no absolutes
To Absolut, to choice, to the Village Voice
To any passing fad
To being an us for once... instead of a them!

[ALL]
La vie Boheme
[WOMEN]
La vie Boheme

[MR. GREY]
Ahhemm

[MAUREEN]
Hey, Mister - she's my sister

[WAITER]
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

[ROGER]
Ew

[COLLINS]
It tastes the same

[MIMI]
If you close your eyes

[WAITER]
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?
[ALL]
Wine and beer!

[MIMI & ANGEL]
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou

[MAUREEN & COLLINS]
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation

[MARK]
Mucho masturbation

[MAUREEN & COLLINS]
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

[COLLINS]
To Sontag

[ANGEL]
To Sondheim

[FOUR GIRLS]
To anything taboo

[COLLINS & ROGER]
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunnigham and Cage

[COLLINS]
Lenny Bruce

[ROGER]
Langston Hughes

[MAUREEN]
To the stage

[BOHEMIANS]
To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda too

[MARK & MIMI]
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

[ALL]
La vie Boheme

[MR. GREY]
Sisters?

[MAUREEN & JOANNE]
We're close

[ANGEL & COLLINS]
Brothers!

[MARK, ANGEL & MIMI]
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men
Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antoniotti, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

[ALL]
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstacy
Václav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game

[COLLINS]
To marijuana

[ALL]
To sodomy, it's between God and me
To S & M

[BENNY]
Waiter ... Waiter ... Waiter ... Waiter!

[ALL]
La vie Boheme

[COLLINS (SPOKEN)]
In honor of the death of Bohemia, an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner. Maureen Johnson, just back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will perform Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she ain't never studied!

[ROGER (SPOKEN)]
And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on the high holy days

[MARK (SPOKEN)]
And Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred. And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song...
[*Roger plays a solo*]
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz!"

[COLLINS (SPOKEN)]
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub

[ANGEL (SPOKEN)]
And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist, including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:

[ALL (SPOKEN)]
"Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS"

[MIMI]
Excuse me - did I do something wrong?
I get invited - then ignored all night long

[ROGER]
I've been trying - I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage

[MIMI]
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

[ROGER]
I should tell you

[MIMI]
I got baggage too

[ROGER]
I should tell you

[ROGER & MIMI]
Baggage

[ALL]
Wine and beer!

[MIMI]
AZT break

[ROGER]
You?

[MIMI]
Me. You?

[ROGER]
Mimi