I begged mom again and again
But the label said ages 14 and up
Rules were made to be broken
I always get what I want

The possibility
For irresponsibility
Outweighs the benefit
Of our children’s creativity

Mom said no parties allowed
But she doesn’t have to know
Two monkey balls does the trick, I swallow
“Mom take me to the hospital!”
Perforated insides
I’m too young to die!

Sixteen hundred people die
Every year just falling out of bed
Will they take away my mattress next?
What would the founding fathers have said?
The possibility for irresponsibility
It’s just too much to be put in the hands of a child

I grew up to be the man you see before you today
The Second Amendment defender
With the self-inflicted gunshot wounds