[Verse 1: Matthew Patel & Wallace's Broadway Actor]
I'm Scott Pilgrim! (I know, shut up)
I had that dream again (I didn't care the first time you told me, I care even less now)
The girl with roller blades and rainbow hair
When are you leaving?
Sex Bob-Omb practice is in one hour!
I mean for good this time
Hmm, is that fresh coffee?
Don't change the subject, I have a date tonight

[Verse 2: Ramona's Broadway Actor & The Evil Ex Broadway Actors]
How do I tell him my exes are evil?
(Evil), Skater! (Exes), Actor! (Evil)
Vegan! (Exes), Rockstar! (Evil)
Mogul! (Exes), Titan! (Evil)
Lover (Exes!), Fighter!
We are the evil exes!

[Verse 3: Ramona's Broadway Actor & Matthew Patel]
Bread ain't all that
Bread makes you fat
What's wrong with that?!

[Outro: Choir]
Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott
This is your precious life
Precious little life