[Verse 1]
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger
Then it hit me...
I used to hate facial hair
But it grew on me
I was planning on making a joke about sodium, but then I thought
Na, nobody will understand it
That one made me salty
I put my grandma on speed dial. I called it Insta-gram
That musician has a problem. He's a trebled man
A fish swam into a wall and said DAM!

[Chorus]
'Cause puns are just like paper...they're tear-ible
Ugh make it stop they're unbearable
Let's get down to business to defeat the puns!
But puns are the devil's work so I have nun!
OK I'll stop now but before I go
Why must this song pun-ish me so?
*sigh*

[Verse 2]
Never trust an atom. They make up everything. (You can never trust an atom)
Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don't know what you're missing
Oh boiling water, you will be mist
I stole a wig because I didn't want toupee for it (That was a good one)
Named my iPod Titanic, it's syncing now
Stop making quiet little noises it's not a-loud
I want to say a chemistry joke, but I would get no reaction from you
I'll get you some bread. You butter believe it
It's the yeast I could do
[Chorus]
'Cause puns are just like paper...they're tear-ible
Ugh make them stop they're unbearable
Let's get down to business to defeat the puns
But puns are the devil's work so I have nun!
OK I'll stop now but before I go
Why must this song pun-ish me so?

[Verse 3]
Jokes about skeletons aren't very humorous
I, for one, like Roman numerals
The earth's rotation really makes my day
The Italian chef who died? He pasta way
An illegally parked frog is toad
My bakery burned down. My business is toast
The cookie was sad because his dad had been a wafer too long
I lost my luggage. I'll just have to carry on

[Chorus]
Puns are just like paper...they're tear-ible
Ugh make them stop they're unbearable
Let's get down to business to defeat the puns!
But puns are the devil's work so I have nun!
OK I'll stop now but before I go (You know it's coming)
Why must this song pun-ish me so?