[Intro: Rhett and Link]
Hey, girl
You know we've been dating for a long time now
Going on five whole weeks
Now that's commitment, baby
So we prepared this very special song
For the very special ladies in our lives
Listen up

[Verse 1: Rhett and Link]
It was magic on our first date
At the food court in the mall (at the Sbarro)
You still won't let me meet your parents
But hey, that's your call (you're a strong, independent woman)
Remember our first kiss
Romantically lit
In the Wal-Mart parking lot? (always low prices)
And then what did we do?
We got matching tattoos
Of our high school mascot (the Charging Chipmunks)
Now I'm ready to say

[Hook: Link]
I lost my shoe in the park
It was a flip-flop, have you seen it?
I lotioned my skin with hotel shampoo
It was an accident
[Verse 2: Rhett, Link, and both]
You nursed me back to health when I woke up
In Mexico (he was missing a kidney)
And I drove you to the hospital
When you fell off the hoverboard
And broke both elbows (all two of 'em)
You shave my hairy back
Pop the pimples I can't reach
And you went with me to get my dog spayed (helping control the pet population)
I think it's time to lock this down
Open my heart and finally say

[Hook: Rhett and Link]
I long-jump on the weekends
I'm in a league, you should come watch
I lowered my car insurance
By fifteen percent when I switched to Geico (not a sponsor)

[Bridge: Rhett and Link]
Those three little words
They're so hard to say
And even though I can't say 'em
I want you to think I'm saying 'em anyway
I'll make you happy
If you just do this
Just put in on mute (mute it up)
And read my lips
[Outro: Rhett and Link]
Olive juice
Elephant poo
All the shoes
On the news
I love booze
Alligator food
Island view
Vacuum
Pile of poo
Dried-up glue
Buy a zoo
Crawl and spew
Cows like moo
Find Blues Clues
I lick boots
Is that you?
All birds flew
Eyes like puce
Owls can hoot
Barbecue