A fiberglass man stands atop a stone pedestal
Wearing blue clothes
Who knows, what might he be reaching for?
Perhaps he's hungry
His simple gesture signifying his hope for food
Very large food
Mm, tell me more

A 3,000 pound egg sits motionless on the edge of a bank parking lot
What secrets does this egg hold?
And how big of a frying pan would I need to make it into an omelette?
Or I could boil it in my hot tub

The giant artichoke nestled in its enclave
Causes me to realize that I didn't really know what an artichoke looked like
Because I only see them in dips
Tasty dips relegated to the appetizer stage of my meal
What is that? It's an artichoke
I need a big ol' tortilla chip
Yeah

The world's largest PEZ dispenser is an order of magnitude larger than a real PEZ dispenser
But it's still smaller than I expected
It was made by the gifted hands of a PEZ-obsessed man
Who is very happy
Ha, ha, ha, of course he's happy
Which came first, Randy's donut shop or the donut on top?
Randy remains tight-lipped
I don't know how he squeezed his store under the donut
But I know one thing: I'm hungry
Mm, gimme some of that sweet, sticky, icky, icky, and blow my mind

As I enter town, I see an 8 foot clam perched upon a beautifully landscaped mound
Did the artist who molded this concrete creature take the time to include a pretend pearl?
I bet it's beautiful
Shazam, it's the world's largest clam
Yes

Rhett, Link, though I am but a statue, and cannot eat
I have been satisfied by your descriptions of the large foods encountered on your journey
I extend my hand to you as a token of thanks
Oh, and one more thing
Did you bring me back a t-shirt?