[Verse 1: Rhett]
You pull out your photos of your wedding in the spring
And you're confronted by your double chin
And your bald spot glistening
You could get a membership at the fitness hut down the road
Or you can pick your mouse up and slim yourself down
And even give yourself a fro

[Verse 2: Link]
Your high school reunion is coming next Friday
And you know everyone will ask to see some
Pictures of the babies that you've made
But the problem is your kid's head is big
I mean we're talking alien size here
We'll just cut and paste a hat or at least a do-rag
And it won't seem so severe

[Chorus: Both]
Photoshop your memories
A picture's worth a thousand words
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt

[Verse 3: Rhett, Link & Both]
Your birthday
This past Monday
Was a fun day
Except for one thing
Your mother in law
Who makes your skin crawl
Stuck her face in every frame
You'd prefer
To remember
That day without
Her tattooed brows
The simplest solution
Decrease the resolution
And crop that woman out
[Chorus: Both]
Photoshop your memories
Your real-life may be subpar
But you can be who you want people to think you are

[Bridge: Both]
Make yourself thin
Give yourself abs
Remove that mole
Say no to crack
Say you went to the Alps
In a luxury car
With a Swedish model
Just be who you want people to think you are

[Outro: Both]
Photoshop your memories
A picture's worth a thousand words
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt