[Rhett & Link:]
Hey, baby cakes, I wanna write you a song
Now that we've been on this journey so long
Standin' here at the sink scrubbin' away
Has really made me think I've got something to say

Ooooh...

[Lee:]
Hey baby
Ketchup and mustard and oatmeal, too
Just wash your dishes, don't make me blue
Wash your dishes or rinse them or just make an effort

[All:]
If bubbles were bullets, I'd blow you away
I'd pop the champagne and make a clean getaway
If bubbles were bullets, I'd draw you a bath
Tub farts as mega nukes would deliver my wrath

But if bubbles were bullets
If that were really true
Then, babycakes
I'd take a shot for you
I'd take a shot for you
I'd take a shot for you