[Verse 1]
I should've never gone
To get my hair cut by my roommate's mom
80% off is not a good deal when she
Cuts 80% off
Huh!

Should've gotten a clue
By looking at my roommate's 'do
Looks like
Two squirrels climbed up his back
Mated on his scalp and died in the act

She was clipping away
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror
I wanted to say...
Something, but I didn't want to offend her
So I shut my mouth, then she gave me a spin
I looked like a stunt double for The Weeknd!

[Chorus]
I got a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad haircut
My head looks like a baboon's butt
(Don't google that)
I should audition for the role of Friar Tuck
'Cause I got a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad haircut
[Bridge]
I got a modern art installation on my head
I look like I walked off the set of The Walking Dead

[Chorus]
I got a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad haircut
I got a BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD HAIRCUT

[Outro]
But...
Haircuts they are temporary
It'll grow out before you get married
Unless you're already married
And then in that case it'll grow out before your second marriage