Studies show that ladies like
A man with a guitar
But I don't wanna learn guitar
Cause I heard that it's hard
But I can learn how to hold it
And move my hands
Just enough so you might think
That I might be in a band

(I can also play mouth guitar while playing fake-real guitar.)

That's what women want

I don't play the saxophone
But I heard it never fails
For a woman to love a sax playing man
So I bought one at a yard sale
It looks incredibly complicated
With all these moving parts
But all I gotta do is move my fingers and throw back my head to speak to your heart

That's what Women want

I don't technically have a job
But I heard that ladies like
A man who doesn't live at home
And drives a car instead of a bike
So I carjacked this convertible and I shoplifted this suit
And I know that it impresses you
When I'm driving and talking on my Bluetooth
(No-no-no I already have a meeting at three; but y'know what? Go ahead and schedule it. I'll take it from the office and the other one from Skype; but I still gotta make my racquetball game at three-ten.)

That's what women want

(I don't have the capacity to feel emotions for others
Because I'm a sociopath, I never knew my mother
But I've learned how to mimic human feelings
And make women think that I care
I find that if goes a long way to just tell a girl you like her hair.)

(A-ha hi, how are you? I absolutely love being with you. You smell nice. You make me the happiest man in the world. You can trust me.)

That's what women want
That's what the ladies like
That's what chicks dig
That's what females prefer
That's what honeys desire
That's what babes fancy
That's what girls are into
That's what women want

(Have you lost weight?)